Theo and Jay: Goodbye
Aug. 2nd, 2004 02:04 pmMorning brightens the sky, touching it with a warm glow, banishing the grey in-between hours. I have been awake for most of the night, and as dawn rose, watched the waves over Jay's shoulder. How could I sleep after talking with Paris, so many thoughts running through my head?
If what Paris says is true, and I have no reason to doubt him, I may die before I ever set eyes on my father again, before I can fulfil my promises to Jay. And one of those may not even be possible. If Bernard is truly destroyed, how can I ever face Jay again? He still lies with his back to me, my face buried in his hair. Seems to be the way our bodies naturally curve around one another while we sleep, and it is the perfect way to wake up. But if I cannot restore his father to him, I can never have this again. I sigh deeply, hoping it doesn't wake him.
Paris. A good man, who valiantly did his best to keep me alive, and how do I repay him? I take his body and use it as if it were my own, but how can I be sorry? How can I ever regret what I found here? My arms tighten around Jay once more, and he moves towards wakefulness.
And Dave. He welcomed me into his house, gave me food and shelter, and I gave him nothing in return but worry and empty bottles. If my father knew how I had repaid his hospitality ... I banish all these thoughts from my head, and concentrate on the body in my arms that is now squirming round to face me, eyes heavy with sleep and barely open look into mine briefly, before his head buries itself in my arms with a sigh.
Moving my legs, I realise I am stuck to this blanket, and laugh a little at the state of us both. "Jay." He groans and pulls me closer, ignoring me. I give in, and for several minutes, lie wrapped up in him, listening to the little snoring noises he makes in the half sleep he's in. But there is something I must do, something I've never done before, and I have spent much of my sleepless night thinking about it. "Jay, I need to ..." He finally looks up at me as I untangle myself from him. He's obviously not awake enough to join me, so I get to my feet, the cold air waking me even more. "I will be back soon." With that, I run down the beach, through the shallow water, and throw myself into the waves.
( Jay - I don't wanna wake up )
If what Paris says is true, and I have no reason to doubt him, I may die before I ever set eyes on my father again, before I can fulfil my promises to Jay. And one of those may not even be possible. If Bernard is truly destroyed, how can I ever face Jay again? He still lies with his back to me, my face buried in his hair. Seems to be the way our bodies naturally curve around one another while we sleep, and it is the perfect way to wake up. But if I cannot restore his father to him, I can never have this again. I sigh deeply, hoping it doesn't wake him.
Paris. A good man, who valiantly did his best to keep me alive, and how do I repay him? I take his body and use it as if it were my own, but how can I be sorry? How can I ever regret what I found here? My arms tighten around Jay once more, and he moves towards wakefulness.
And Dave. He welcomed me into his house, gave me food and shelter, and I gave him nothing in return but worry and empty bottles. If my father knew how I had repaid his hospitality ... I banish all these thoughts from my head, and concentrate on the body in my arms that is now squirming round to face me, eyes heavy with sleep and barely open look into mine briefly, before his head buries itself in my arms with a sigh.
Moving my legs, I realise I am stuck to this blanket, and laugh a little at the state of us both. "Jay." He groans and pulls me closer, ignoring me. I give in, and for several minutes, lie wrapped up in him, listening to the little snoring noises he makes in the half sleep he's in. But there is something I must do, something I've never done before, and I have spent much of my sleepless night thinking about it. "Jay, I need to ..." He finally looks up at me as I untangle myself from him. He's obviously not awake enough to join me, so I get to my feet, the cold air waking me even more. "I will be back soon." With that, I run down the beach, through the shallow water, and throw myself into the waves.
( Jay - I don't wanna wake up )