Displaced Prince

It's late when I finally get home. Funny that, only been here a couple of weeks, and it feels like the nearest thing I’ve had to a home in a long time. Guess that has a lot to do with who lives here.

I ache in places that should have made it obvious that Theo and Jay were more than just mates. I feel like such a shit, blurting out all that stuff about Theo, but how was I to know? Next time we talk, gonna clue him in on the concept of sharing. Next time. If there is a next time.

And that shift? Didn’t feel like the others. Passing through that intense light, the way Theo screamed in agony as he left and Jay falling to his knees at the same time? Course, I don’t exactly know what a “normal” shift is, but that felt different. Jay didn’t look too good when I left him, or rather when he slammed the door in my face and left me to hitch home. I suppose I should call him tomorrow, see how he is. Maybe by that time, I’ll know how Theo really is.

I shrug my jacket off, and leave it lying where it falls, my feet automatically heading towards the kitchen. A cold beer slides down so sweetly, and a second one is still in my hand as I head towards the shower. Oh God! The shower! The rest of my clothes litter my trail, and soon I’m standing under hot jets of water, and it’s the nearest thing I’ve come to heaven, even though it wasn’t this body that’s been stumbling and falling through Rohan these past few days.

My fingertips are starting to wrinkle by the time I finally step out and head for bed. Or rather head for the couch. Takes me a minute to remember I don’t sleep there any more. Or do I? I switch off the lights and head for the stairs. What if what we tasted before I left is gone? My breath hitches at the thought, and I really need to hold you and tell you I’m sorry for leaving. I need you to tell me everything is gonna be okay ...

( Dave, where are you? )

Happens straight after Theo and Jay's night on the beach and Morgoth grabs an opportunity

I lie and watch the fire for a while after Jay falls asleep, but it is not the heat from the dying flames that keeps me warm, rather the heat we built between us, the heat that lingers around us as we lie curled together. He moans a little every now and then, moving closer, if that is possible. Last night as I held him I wondered what memories filled his dreams. Tonight I know, and when he whimpers against my skin, his brow creasing, I stroke his hair until he slips back into dreamless slumber.

Sighing, I bury my face in his neck. I know what I need to do; I need to talk to Paris. I have not spoken to him for days, and must tell him about my father, must tell him that in a few hours, once dawn lights the sky, I will shift back. Relaxing, I feel my way to the link that joins us, and seek him out.

( Paris? )

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Dave. I've been sleeping spooned against his back, where I've wanted to be for weeks now, arms around him, his shoulder within kissing distance.

( I nuzzle his neck, moving the hand that was holding him close against me lower. )

Starts off NC-17

We spent the evening talking, touching, getting used to being around each other without all those invisible barriers that had been keeping us apart. It was good, felt comfortable, felt right. And we talked about shifting, how it's different for everyone, Dave told me about his life with Faramir in it, and what had really happened that left him with heightened senses. And he explained what little they know about Morgoth and his plans, and how they think Hugo's disappearance may be tied up with that, about John's run in with Lurtz and Viggo's animated experience. Then we left Middle Earth behind for a while, and stuffed ourselves with Chinese food before flopping down on the couch.

A fire crackled in the hearth, and as Dave dozed with his head in my lap, my hand played through his hair as I read as much as I could about the place I was going to.

A little later, I asked if I could speak to Faramir while he rested. It’s gonna take some getting used to, seeing a grey-eyed Dave, and knowing I’m talking to Faramir.

We talked about Theodred. Faramir was concerned at how disorientated and weak he was, and that although he could remember his name, who Faramir was, and the Golden Hall, he had no other memory of his life. I said I would stay in Rohan until Theodred’s memories returned, then we could shift back. Maybe by that time, I would hopefully have met up with someone who could help him, get him back to Edoras or some other place of safety, let him finish healing.

I dug out all the Rings books Dave had on his shelves, and we went through them together looking for maps, and coming up with a rough approximation of where Theodred was, given what little I could remember, and the fact he couldn’t be too far from the Ford. And we both agreed that I needed to stay put for a couple of days, try and find food and let his body regain a little strength and begin to heal. Faramir promised to show me the athelas that grew around the bowl, so I could recognise it when I got there, and hope there was some growing in the gully. Then, I would head east, towards the Isen; follow it back to the Ford and on towards Helm’s Deep. And we both knew it wasn’t gonna be that simple. Injured, progress would be slow, and I would have to take every precaution not to be discovered by Saruman’s forces as I had nothing to protect myself with.

Before Faramir shifted out, I asked him for a favour. He nodded, his grey eyes solemn, and I watched as they brightened to blue. Dave smiled at me, pulling me to him for a lazy kiss and I let myself melt against him …

So now, hours later, he’s asleep in my arms as we lie in his bed, and I’m finding it hard to sleep because when I wake up I’ll be leaving.

And I don’t want to go.

The morning after Faramir finds Theodred in the woods, Paris wakes back in Dave's bed and finally they talk and um ...

Time for truth, time for answers ...

Eventually NC-17

Taking it easy on the way back to Dave's, I'm hoping he's there when I get back. If Faramir is right, and he can give me answers, help me understand what's happening ... as I pull into the street, the world flips over, and for a second, I'm dreaming, I’m back at the ford, being dragged into the trees, then I'm back, bike swerving against the curb, and I just catch it in time. This is happening too fast, and I'm beginning to feel trapped. I can't stay on the bike if I keep blacking out. As I slip the side stand down, I realise I'm outside of Craig's place. I know there's a path through from Craig and Hugo's gardens into the woods that Faramir uses, it'll be quicker that way than on the road, can come back and get Leelu later ... the walk will clear my head, don’t think it'll stop the shaking though ...

I stumble a couple of times as I make my way over Craig's lawn towards the woods and just hope no-one's home to watch my erratic progress. Reaching a shaded area, my stomach cramps, and I double over, clutching my stomach, reaching out to grab whatever support I can find to stop myself hitting the ground. When I can see straight again, I realise I'm clinging onto a bird bath on a pedestal and ... holy crap! That tree just moved! That tree just ... walked three feet to the left ... and now it's coming towards me! My fingers grasp the edge of the bowl way to tight, and my eyes, which I feel should be riveted on the approaching tree, are slowly drawn downwards, and I'm staring through clear water at the stone of the bowl. But the stone itself ... it's moving, like liquid, stirring, shifting ... I'm in the middle of a waking dream, the quiet garden overlapping with the grunting of orcs, and I can see through Theodred's eyes, but I'm wide awake ... a strange sensation starts at the back of my neck, moves through me, and with a jolt, I'm pulled out of myself, and slammed into him.

I can feel hands on my arms, and there's a stench that makes me gag. I can't lift my head to see where I am as I sag between them, and hear an unintelligible grunt as they drag me forward ... then I'm being thrown over a ledge, and my body crumples as I hit something large and solid and ...

After finally dragging ourselves out of the shower, we head into Wellie. I’ve left the bike at John’s so I can have a drink later, and after a couple of hours of pleasant aimless wandering, we end up in the park.

Sam smiles at me as she walks away, that shy, smile she has now that’s all mine, that lets me know she’s thinking of last night. I smile back, and she flounces off in search of ice-cream. Lying back on the grass, I’m thinking this is the most relaxed I’ve been since I hit town, and that really makes me wonder. I roll onto my stomach, and play with a piece of grass. I hadn’t intended to fall asleep last night, was gonna stay awake, didn’t want to risk hurting Sam, but the dream I had? Wasn’t nearly as intense as the others lately. It was manageable, and I’ve had to admit to myself that maybe there’s an external force intensifying my nightmares.

Since moving in with Dave, they’ve been escalating faster than they ever have before. Dave .... how could he be affecting me? I snort at the thought. Affecting me? Being close to him is like putting my hand into fire, and God, I wanna let myself burn.

When I think of his touch on my skin, I get this heat in the pit of my stomach, and the thought of his fingers tangled with mine … why that? Why does that image have the power to make me wanna groan out loud lying here in the middle of the park? I look down at my hands, now full of shredded grass, and remember them covered in blood. I can’t take the chance that one kind of intensity won’t lead to another. I can’t take the chance of hurting him, just so I can be with him.

I look up and see Sam at the ice-cream stall, flirting with the vendor, she looks so happy, and I’m suddenly feeling guilty. I swear she’s not second best, not a substitute for something I can’t have. She’s different. Warm and soft and open and honest, and I need that right now, need her, but that doesn’t stop me craving someone else. And if I was brutally honest, if things were “normal”, who would I be with right at this moment? Gah! I can’t go there! Not with her smiling at me as she makes her way back to me, but I should have told her I’d be taking off next week before we … well, before last night. I’m coming back; I’ll tell her that, too … least I hope I’m coming back. And maybe I’ll be alone. I’d always thought that would make me happy, to be rid of him, his troubled thoughts and dreams, but I don’t want to lose him like that, I don’t want to watch him die.

She hands me my ice-cream, smiling, and we sit close together on my jacket, talking about where to eat later, which movies we want to see. And I don’t tell her I’m leaving, because that would make the smile slip from her face, and just for this one more day, I need to feel her happiness. I’ll tell her tomorrow …

One trip to Uncle Changs for amongst other things the best pot-stickers I’ve ever tasted, one visit to the movies to see Troy, glad Sam chose that over Van Helsing for one particular reason, and a final stop at the Firkin later, where I introduced her to Gareth, who flirted mercilessly with her, even though we all know she’s not his type, our cab pulled up outside John’s place, and I walked her to the door. The lights were on, and I guessed John was waiting up for her, so we lingered over a kiss, and she smiled when I said I would be over in the morning for the bike, saying she would make sure there was coffee on.

I wandered down the drive, giving Leelu an affectionate pat on the way past, and jumped back in the waiting cab.

Sam: Everything about today has been perfect. The ride up the mountain was more exciting than any roller coaster. At first I thought I'd be afraid, we were going so fast around those steep curves, but as we rode I let myself meld with you. I was like a blade of grass, with nothing to fear from the wind. Your body led me through every curve, and soon I could anticipate your lean from the subtle tightening of your thighs against my legs. As we reached the campground I felt like I already knew you more intimately than I have some of my (admittedly few) lovers. I was glad we hadn't gotten off the bike yet, because there was no way I could hide my blush at that thought.


( We had our pick of campsites ... )

NC-17 Het Alert!!

I've pushed myself this morning, I ache already, and it's only lunchtime. A sigh escapes me as I sit down on the steps, grabbing the bottle of water I'd left in the shade and drinking half of it down in one go as I stare out over the trees.

So Faramir lives in Wellington and knows Dave ... and some of his friends. Faramir, the fictional character from Lord of the Rings, lives in Wellington near the library. The laughter that bubbles up inside me borders on the hysterical.

The only thing I'm clear on right now is that he's real. The things he said about his life, the way he spoke of ... Theodred. May as well start calling him by his name too. The grief he felt over the loss of his friend, his friend who is, for the moment, still alive and well, and filling my sleep with nightmares, was real.

It had occurred to me to ask Dave about him. Well, actually, it had occurred to me to yell "What the fuck is Faramir doing in Wellington??" at Dave, but if he won't open up to me about whatever else is going on around here, that would probably send him into hiding. Maybe that's what happened to Hugo; maybe he just got sick of someone asking questions and took off.

( I lay my hands across my knees, and rest my head on them, just for a moment, I tell myself. )