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rohansonDave: Having dropped Hugo off safe and sound at home, I continue on to my own place, glad to be back home. I'm a little stiff from sleeping in a chair all night, but who cares? Hugo's back, Elrond must be back too, all's right with the world, okay, well Armaas right as our little corner of the world ever gets. I push through the front door with a smile on my face, and I see the couch flipped open. That would have to be Theodred sleeping there, if it was Paris, well, I would assume he'd be upstairs. I wish Paris would get home soon.
I step in further, and my foot hits something. Looking down, I see an empty Grand Marnier bottle roll away from me. It thumps against an upright Scotch bottle, clinking loudly as empty bottles will do. I turn to look quizzically at Theodred, and that's when I notice he's not alone. And they're both stirring now, the sound of the door and the bottles must have gotten through to them. If they drank these bottles dry, they've got to be hurting right about now. I tell myself they've drank over a hundred dollars worth of my booze, and suddenly I don't feel too bad about waking them. Besides, I'm curious as hell about who Theodred's managed to pull into bed already.
So, I step closer, and sit down none to gently on the end of the couch, shaking the entire bed.
Morning, you two! Time to rise and shine!
Theodred: I am awake as soon as I hear the door creak open, and open one eye just a crack to assess the danger. I will be eternally grateful to whatever Gods protect this world that it is Dave who approaches, and I do not have to leap up and defend us from attack, as I think if I had to move suddenly I would damage something vital. My head pounds, and my body feels, well, like shit, comforted only by the feel of Jay lying with his back against my chest, my face buried in his hair, which smells of him. And those smokes he … smokes. I know he’s awake, yet he chooses to feign sleep, as I think he is concerned about meeting Dave.
Then Dave sits down on the bed, and his voice makes my head pound even more. I open my eye a little wider to look at him without letting in too much light, and tighten my arm around Jay, letting him know he does not have to move just yet.
“Fuck, Dave. Do you have to be so loud?” My voice feels dry and dusty. I really need a drink of water, and have a sudden craving for strong coffee, and omelettes … and a shower would feel so good but that would mean I had to move, and at the moment, I do not know if I can. I wish that we were lying in my bedchamber in Meduseld curled up in my furs, and Werian was about to wake us with breakfast. She always knew when Eomer and I had overindulged, and would pamper us as she had done when we were children in her charge, much to my father’s annoyance.
My father, our fathers. How could I have forgotten why we were here, but I really need to pull myself together before getting into that. I look at Dave with what I hope is apologetic pleading on my face. “Coffee would taste really good right now. Were you thinking of switching on the machine?”
Dave: Okay, this is a bit surreal. I’ve just stumbled into my own home, through my own empty liquor bottles, and now I’m expected to provide coffee service. I catch the look on Theodred’s face and am pleased to see a mixture of pain and apology. Hell, it’s fine really, I haven’t exactly lived the life of a saint but I can’t resist letting him wonder what I think for a minute. “Coffee would taste great, yeah. I’ve just had a hell of a night myself, not sure if I can haul these old bones as far as the kitchen or push something as difficult as the ‘on’ button.”
I do want to know who he’s picked up. I lean over, and deliberately stare at the face of the guy Theodred’s got in his clutches. Definitely a bar pick-up. He looks the type. Bit harsh around the edges, but I admit it’s an intriguing face, unconventional but not hard on the eyes at all. Not exactly what I thought Theodred’s type was, but choices can go pretty wild in a dark bar after a few drinks and christ knows what style of tempting pickup lines.
“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll fire up the coffee. And I’ll dig up some asprins. But you’ve got to get your handsome friend upright soon so I can have a proper introduction, sound good?” I make absolutely sure your friend can’t see my face before I give you a small wink and subtle ‘thumbs up’ sign.
Theodred: A hell of a night? I manage to open both eyes, and realise he has a black eye! I had not thought Dave to be the sort to get into a fight, but he is Faramir’s counterpart; maybe he is more like my old friend I thought. I look at him quizzically, but he shrugs and grins, leaning over to get a better look at Jay, and I surprise myself by tightening my arm around him protectively.
I will be forever grateful that Dave volunteers to make coffee, and wonder how tasty these asprins will be. I wonder if they resemble the omelettes that were yesterday’s breakfast?
I manage a grin at Dave as he leaves for the kitchen, his thumbs up sign obvioulsy approval of Jay, but I think I know what he thinks Jay is, and will put that right as soon as he comes back. I lie back against the pillows and sigh a little; they feel so good against my aching head. I know Jay is awake, so I lean closer, wondering if his barriers will come crashing down again this morning, or if I am still allowed a little of last night’s closeness. I trace the outline of his tattoo with my tongue, sucking on the drop of blood at it’s tip. Ah, that got his attention!
“Jay. It is time to get up, Dave will be back with coffee and asprins soon, and you heard him say he wants to know who you are.”
Jay: I've been awake this whole fucking time, trying to keep my eyes closed and breathing even as I listened to Theo smooth things over with Dave. My first impulse had been to bolt when I'd heard Dave's voice, but when Theo held me tighter, practically speakin' to me to through his skin, I relaxed against him again. Why the fuck I trust this guy I've only known for 24 hours, I have no fucking idea. But I do, and I followed his lead.
My head's hurtin' pretty bad, and it tastes like a small animal shat in my mouth, but it's nothing a cigarette, a little fresh air, and another shot of whiskey won't fix. Hair of the fucking dog, man.
I'm dyin' to see who this mystery man is, the guy who's gonna fix all our problems. I'm even more amazed that he's fucking makin' coffee for the two jerks who drained his best bottles of whiskey and crashed out on his couch when he wasn't even home. I don't get it. He's probably gonna spit in each cup before pouring us the coffee . . .
I almost jump out of my fucking skin when I feel Theo's hot tongue on my back, and my eyes fly open as my back arches involuntarily towards him. When he sucks on the spot I know where the blood drop is, it sends a jolt straight to the core of my being like I've never felt before. Guess I know he doesn't regret what happened last night . . .
"Yeah, I'm awake Theo," I struggle to keep my voice even, not let him know how much his lickin' my tat rattled me. He was probably just playin' around, trying to get my attention. Nothin' else. I sit up on the bed quickly, out of the range of his luscious mouth, and grab my dirty shirt off the floor. I don't look at Theo as I quickly pull it on, running my fingers through my hair before lookin' down at him.
My breath catches in my throat as he smiles lazily at me. He looks so fucking amazing spread out on the pillows, his hair all messy around his face, his golden skin practically glowing in the morning light. His eyes are such a deep blue, and though they're bleary with hangover, they still hold the same calm strength they did when he pulled me into his arms . . .
"You feelin' OK? You look like hell, kid." I lie with a shaky smile, and hesitate a second before smoothing a lock a hair back from his forehead. God, his skin is so warm, and all I wanna do is press myself against him again.
A clinking noise from the kitchen pulls me back to where I am, and why I'm here. Dad. Theoden. Dave. Answers, answers, answers. I pull away from Theo and slam a shot from the half-full glass in front of me before handing it to him. "Yeah, I know you don't want it right now. But drink up, it'll help the pain."
Dave: I get the coffee brewing, leaning back against the kitchen counter as the machine splutters to life, noting that the lumps on the couch are beginning to get upright. I have to roll my eyes and stifle a laugh as I see Mr. Mystery reach for a glass and kick back more of the refreshment I’ve so thoughtfully provided. I’m a litle surprised to see he only needs to pull on a shirt, he’s already dressed from the waist down. Interesting, that.
All right then. I head back down the hall behind the kitchen to the bathroom, searching for aspirin, taking some myself for the aches and pains, christ, I do feel like that metaphysical truck I joked about with Hugo was a real one right now. Funny how you really don’t feel the pain of a walloping till the next day. Having chugged four asprins, I wander back, grab a cup and pour myself a cup of coffee before finding my way back to the dining room.
“Coffee’s brewed. I figure you two already have a talent for finding the drinks and glasses, so finding your own cupfuls shouldn’t be a problem.” I set the asprin bottle on the coffee table, and relax into a chair near the couch, and sip from my mug. “So! I’m Dave. And I know who you are.” I’m pointing at Theodred as I speak. “But I’d love to know what you two’ve been calling each other. Names aren’t something to take for granted these days, are they?”
Theodred: I smile to myself as Jay moves away from me. I felt his reaction to my touch, and by the look on his face, he remembers last night too. There is also trust in his eyes, and I like that. He pushes his hand through his already messy hair, and I want to pull him back to me, run my fingers through it as I hold him close, and when he reaches out and touches my hair, it takes all that I have not to do exactly that.
“I look like hell? I think you should go look in a mirror, my friend, then tell me who looks like hell!” I finally push myself up to sit on the edge of the couch, and the pain lances through my head once more. I take the glass Jay offers me, and knock it back in one, regretting for an instant my decision to follow Jay’s lead, as I honestly think I am going to vomit, but then my stomach stills, and I let out a long breath as Dave sits down opposite the couch and places a small bottle marked “Aspirins” on the table. So they aren’t like omelettes, which is a shame as I could have eaten at least two, with fries. As I brought Jay into his home, I think it is only right that I make the introductions.
“Dave, this is Jay, Bernard’s son. He is a friend to Paris, and he knows me by my true name, Theodred. He knows who I am, and where I come from.” The look on Dave’s face is unreadable. I do not know if he is annoyed or simply exhausted, so I press on. “I brought him here to convince him of who I am by letting him see you and Faramir shift, but I think we got that sorted out last night.” I grin at Jay, but then turn to more serious matters. “Dave, my father is locked in a hospital in the city, and I must set him free.” I sigh, and decide to let Jay explain the rest. “Jay will tell you about Bernard while I go and get us coffee.” I squeeze Jay’s shoulder on the way past, and give him a smile of encouragement. Coffee, yes, before any more thought is required, and I can rummage around in the cold cabinet in the kitchen; see if there is anything to eat in there. After a futile attempt to find my shirt, I head off in the direction of the kitchen without it.
Jay: Way to skip the small talk Theo. Always to the fucking point. Wonderful. He drops the story on Dave and then leaves me to field the questions that I know are gonna follow. Nothin' to do but press on, I guess, and hope Theo doesn't put any fucking sugar in my coffee.
But finally, here is the mystical Dave, the wizard of Oz who's gonna tell me how to get back to Kansas. Tell ya true, Dave's really not what I expected. I thought he'd be some snobby-ass rich guy with an Armani suit, $100 haircut and a French manicure. Naw, this guy looks, well, almost normal . . . except for the purple shiner on his eye, rumpled clothes, and messy red hair. Looks like he's been through the wringer, and I really don't know what to read off him. My old walls went up as soon as Theo left the room, and I throw on a little barbed wire for good measure. One false move and I'm outta here.
I glance up at Dave, but keep my head low. I'm already putting my keys and change back in my pockets from the pile I threw them onto the table, and I make sure I know where my jacket is. Always good to know how fast you can get out of a bad situation.
I clear my throat, but my voice is still a little raspy. "Um, yeah. Like Theo said, my Dad's Bernard Hill. He was in The Two Towers a few years ago, played King Théoden." I swipe my hand across my face. This is so fucking surreal. "He moved here to Wellington last year with his wife and other son, Gabriel. Um. . . ." Just spit it out Jaybird, and it'll all be over. "A few months ago he went into a coma, and his bitch ex-wife stuck him in Wellington hospital. I arrived here about a week ago to take care of him, and he suddenly woke up. Good fuckin' thing, yeah, but he thinks he's King Theoden, not Bernard Hill." Just don't look at Dave's face Jaybird, just keep talking. God I wish Theo were back with that coffee. "So, um I called up Paris to see if maybe he could talk to the crazy 'ol man, talk some sense into him, 'it was only a movie,' yaddah, yaddah . . ." I take a shaky breath. Almost there. "And what do you fuckin' know, Paris isn’t Paris, but prince Theodred of Rohan. Small fuckin' world huh?"
I'm fiddling with my keys in my pocket, darting looks back to the kitchen. Come on Theo! I need some backup in here! "Ummm, so basically then, our Dads have switched minds I guess, and Dad's stuck somewhere in Tolkien-land, and Theoden's strapped to his bed in the hospital 'cause they can't keep him in one place. Nice guy, but he's really unhappy about being here."
Saying everything out loud, I realize I must sound completely, utterly insane. I'm goin' on Theo's word here this guy can help, and I swear to god I keep waiting for a camera crew to pop up from under the couch to tell me I'm the latest victim of a new reality game show. I sound like such an asshole, and I'm already on my feet, hugging myself and pacing, mostly to get as close to the door as possible. I've got no idea what Dave's thinkin' or if he's gonna bust out laughing at me or yell at me to leave or just call the cops to have them haul me away. "Maybe I've just been surrounded by crazy people too long here in New Zealand, but I fuckin' believe Theo when he told me who he was. Took me all day and a hell of a lot of talkin', but I believe him. And I believe him when he tells me you may know how to get our Dads back where they belong. He says you turn into Faramir, and you know how all this shit works. That part, I'm still working on believing, but since I believe all the other shit he's told me, I figure he must not be too far from the mark."
I stop pacing, the door only four feet behind me. I hope it isn't locked. I'm absolutely still, except for the racing of my heart. It's making my headache worse, but I ignore it. All that matters now is Dave's reaction, which will determine whether I get my Dad back, or if I have to break Theo's gorgeous face open with a tire iron.
Dave: I’ve seen caged animals before, and they’ve been more relaxed than this guy. He’s tense enough that I’m pretty sure I could make him bolt by just standing up suddenly. But hell. From what he’s just babbled out, he’s had a damned good reason to drink my house dry and wrap himself around the nearest understanding body, which, if I follow this right, is some twisted version of his own shadow brother. Not that I’m going to fling warped incest in his face about now, he’s got enough to assimilate.
Seems like lately the kids are starting to get involved. And by kids I mean the offspring of us shifters. Hugo managed to keep his out of town, and so did Lawrence. But lately, and hell, maybe it’s Morgoth stepping up the pace? I don’t know. John’s daughter Sam, she got too close and nearly got burnt. Now Bernard’s son. And he’s really gotten close, he’s in on the secret, more than Sam ever learned, thank god. What’s done is done, he knows what he knows, and there’s no sense in chasing him off now. Best to get him settled out, if that’s possible. The guy’s practically vibrating himself through the floorboards.
“So, then. Jay. I’ve missed your dad since he left, we spent the occasional evening out drinking and trying to out-clever each other. He always was a quicker wit than me, and that’s a hard thing to admit.” I’ve spoken in a slow quiet voice, staying relaxed. And you’re still here, there’s a start. “Sit down, you’re heads gotta be pounding, give that aspirin a chance to kick in.” I glance at Theodred, who’s staring at Jay, looking ready to run if he does. Kid’s got a crush on this one, that’s pretty obvious. “So, then. Theodred’s convinced you he’s not Paris. He’s right. Paris isn’t here, dammit, and I wish the hell he’d get home. Theo’s a good guy, and Paris wants me to look out for him while he’s gone. So, I guess you’re not the only one with questions here. You probably want to see me turn myself inside out and go Gondorian on you. I can do that if it’s what you need. I do believe you, every word you say. And I guess my question to you is, are you good for Theodred right now? He’s barely been in our world a few days and I’ve got no clue what you’ve been up to with him. Look, I know you want to help your dad, hell, I do too. I like your dad, and he’s one of us.” I give you a wry smile, and I really wish you would just sit the hell down! “You know, one of us, secret society, we meet in caves and have matching rings sanctified in blood. Look Jay, we’re just actors with a curse. Either you get it or you don’t, and I think you get it. Please, sit the fuck down.”
Theodred: It takes a while to find everything in the kitchen and as for food? The leftovers of the Chinese I had with Dave two nights ago are really not appealling. After pouring out two large mugs of coffee, and grabbing a couple of apples from the bench, I find something to carry them on, and head back. When I hear Dave ask if Jay is good for me, I do not know whether to laugh or take him to task. I am not some boy who does not know his own mind, I am, as Jay may say “the fucking Prince of Rohan”! I like this word. It conveys much.
One glance is all it takes to realise that Jay is about to run, and my heart flips over in my chest. “Jay.” I need him to look at me. Our eyes meet, and that haunted look is back. For a second, I think I’ve lost him. My own eyes soften as I look at him, and I motion with my head towards the couch. “Sit down, drink coffee.” My eyes never leave him, and only when he is sitting on the couch do I join him, and hand him a coffee, sitting so close I can feel the heat of his skin through his shirt on my bare arm. I tip two of these Aspirins out of the bottle and swallow them, washing them down with a gulp of coffee, and push an apple towards Jay, but he looks at it as if he does not recognise what it is. Maybe it is a rare fruit in these lands.
I can feel him relax a little as Dave confirms what I told him, and it occurs to me that he is a lot like Brego was when I first laid eyes on him, wild and untamed, and it took a while before he fully trusted me, let me get close to him. He was never broken, we just came to an understanding, I trust him with my life, and he trusts me with his. Perhaps given a little more time, Jay will understand that too. But for now it is finally time to talk with Dave.
Sighing, I look at Dave, and hope he can help us, or to be more precise, help my father. “Dave, I need to know if there is a way to help them both. A way to help them that doesn’t mean I am …” Suddenly I want to run, and for the second time since I got here, I can feel real panic rising to the surface, and I feel trapped, have to leave. As I move to stand, I feel Jay’s hand on my arm, my wild eyes meet his calm ones, and I sit back down slowly, taking a moment to ground myself before continuing. “A way to help them that doesn’t condemn my father to a living death.”
Jay: Dave fucking believes me. I'm so relieved I could laugh. Or cry. Or both at once. So I do nothing, watchin' for the trap I know is about to spring. I still don't trust Dave as far as I could throw him, but at least he's playing along now. And with Theo back in the picture, sittin' so close to me on the couch I have to repress shivers, I feel a little safer.
Plus, he's brought me coffee. Without sugar. I can handle this.
Until Dave keeps talking.
I know Dave's tryin' to relax me, but there's somethin' in his tone I don't quite like. I'm not quite sure if he's kiddin' or not. He says he believes me, then starts talkin' about 'going Gondorian,' and secret societies, and I wonder if that's how Dad got involved in all this. Fuck, and I thought the Masons were creepy.
And what the fuck is this 'good for Theodred' shit? "Wait, wait, am I good enough for Theodred?" Dave sounds like a stodgy father checkin' out his cherry daughter's new boyfriend, and that pisses me off so bad I'm almost ready to leave again. Me, I'm used to gettin' the once over and comin' up short. What I don't like is what it says about what he thinks of Theo. "Yeah, I know he's new here, but he's not a fucking baby. He's the fucking prince of Rohan! And hiding things from him is not the way to get shit done. Did you think you could hide the story from him?" I let my eyes bore into Dave's, sayin' with my eyes what I won't say with my words. I put my hand on Theo's knee, as if to remind myself he's there, he's real, he's alive.
I hold Dave's gaze for a second longer before pulling away, not sure what he's thinkin' behind those tired eyes. I suddenly feel bad, realizin' that I'm the one who waltzed in here and demanded answers he may not have been expectin' to give . . . but that still doesn't give him the right to treat Theo like a fuckin' imbecile.
But then somethin' hits me as Theo begins to speak, the missing piece that has just fallen into place: Paris and Dave. Fuck, they're not just roomies. Why else would Theo be sleepin' on a couch and not in his own room? I can tell that by how Dave looks at Theo, barely checked resentment in his eyes. Theo took his boyfriend away. No wonder he's not happy Theo's here. Guess I should cut the man a little more slack.
I stop worrying about Dave the second I feel Theo start to rise off the couch, start feelin' his own agitation as clearly as it was my own. It's my turn to calm him, and I manage to put aside my own fears to give him a look that says 'I need you here, man. We can handle this together.' It cools him off a bit, and he sits down, but he's still boiling below the surface.
Then he mentions condemnin' the 'ol King to a living death, and it takes me a minute to figure out what the hell he meant. But when I do, the knowledge slams into me like a fuckin' plane hittin' a building, and suddenly things aren't gonna be as easy as I thought. "Fuck, Theo . . . Dad wasn't in a coma . . . that Wormy guy . . . you don't mean that Dad's in Rohan right now with him?"
Dave: Bite it back, Dave, it’s not what they need right now. They’re both new to this, they’ve got no idea of the war we’ve been fighting for years now. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything from him, Jay. He’d just gotten here! He was exhausted, he could barely stand upright! And let’s add to that the fact that I had no clue where Bernard had been taken, I just knew from random gossip he’d had to go away. You follow? I wasn’t hiding anything. I barely knew anything. You two have been off racing ahead before any of the rest of us could even think about helping you.”
And now it’s my turn to stand and pace. Life was just getting back to something resembling normal. We got Hugo home. Paris could be back anytime, and I send out another quick prayer that he’s getting along okay right now. Normal? I have to laugh, and I set my cup down so I can rub my face with both hands. Last night I was having the crap beat out of me by the Witch King, and now I’m facing down the son of the King of Rohan and his shift.
At least the Witch King was easy to understand. His goals were pretty dammed clear. These two, I have to muddle through what their plans are, because they’re coming out in fits and starts. “Okay you two. Breathe. Smoke em if you’ve got em. And just calm down. So. The basic problem is that Bernard’s body is locked up here in Wellington, but he’s stuck in his shift. And Bernard’s back in Rohan under Wormtongue’s control, from the bits you’ve said here. That means Theoden King is here, in the hospital, right?”
I sit down again, sighing a long breath. “And Paris is stumbling his way back into that mess of a household. Wonderful.” I glance at the two of you, shaking my head. Possibly the most delicate situation we’ve come across yet and the cavalry consists of two completely green, overzealous, skittish young men who barely have a grasp of the big picture. Absolutely perfect.
“Okay, I understand the situation now. We’ve got a stuck shift, and Grima’s probably being used to help keep Bernard stuck. Yeah, that would be the bastards style, all right, he likes to get us ‘stuck’. Ask Hugo. Ask me sometime when I know you better. We need to figure out a game plan here, and see about getting some other talent involved.” Jay gives me a sharp look when I mention bringing in others. “You didn’t think it was just Faramir and Theodred and Theoden over here, did you? Believe me, you’ve just seen the tip of the iceberg so far.”
Theodred: I look at Jay, my hand on his, which is now gripping my knee like a vice. “No, it is not certain that your father is in Rohan.” My mind is racing now, once I have faced the fact my father may have to go back, it is easier to think of the possibilities for his rescue. And if I will not be alone in this … I look at Dave intently. “When you and Faramir shift, you do not change places with him as Paris and I do, and you said the shift can be different for each person. What if it is the same for them? That Bernard is still here, but cannot find his way back? Might not my father be able to restore him to himself by shifting out?”
Dave nods at me. “And there are others in Rohan who can help free my father from Wormtongue? Who are they, and how can I find them?” I know I am bombarding him with questions, but there is much I would know. “I … I must talk with my father.” My head is spinning, and I cannot sit still. I leave Jay on the couch, and begin to pace backwards and forwards in front of the fireplace. “We need to know if Bernard can be restored first, and if he can, we can concentrate our efforts on affecting a rescue in Rohan. I know who is loyal to the King, and who serves Grima, and we can trust Eomer and Eowyn to help us …” Pausing for a moment, there is something they should both know, something I read last night while Jay was in the bathroom, something he let slip, and I needed to know.
It can be a difficult thing to do, talk of your own death. “I know what it is that you would both keep from me if you could. I know that four days ago, according to Tolkien, I died at the Ford of Isen. That it is thought that my death was the aim of the attack, that once I fell, mortally wounded, his forces retreated.” I turn to face them. “I do not know how or why I cheated my destiny, but the Valar saw fit to spare my life, and for that, and for brining me to this world, I will be eternally grateful.” I smile softly at Jay. “But first and foremost, I have a duty to my King, my people, to Rohan. To fulfil that duty, I must help restore Bernard to you …” I look across at Jay, and my next words are so hard to say. “… and I must return to my home, let Paris return to his.”
Jay: I'm followin' every word Theo's saying, and when he mentions his death, I feel a hot lance of guilt shoot through my chest. I look at my feet, rememberin' the look on Theo's face when I oh-so-gently told him about it yesterday, the fucking confusion and horror as he had thrown himself away from me.
What the fuck am I thinking gettin' mad at Dave for. I am no good for Theo.
And then Theo says it, what I knew all along and didn't want to admit, and I'm glad I'm lookin' down 'cause my face is burning like nothin' else. Of course Theo was gonna go back home. He doesn't fuckin' belong here in this world, and Paris needs to come back to his weird-ass actor boyfriend. Theo stole his life, like Theoden is stealing my Dad's. It's not fuckin' right.
I take a shaky breath, and push against myself, and carefully ignore the fact that this news hurts worse than anything I've heard all week. Just another fuckin' bullet through the heart, no big deal. I start tellin' myself what I need to hear to make it through this talk before I can finally leave: Theo's not important. He's just another guy, another brick in the wall. Nothin' special at all. One drunk night really means nothin' when you look at the big picture. We're here to fix our Dads, that's it.
What did I tell you, Jaybird? Never give a fucking inch. When will ya learn, ya bastard?
I look hard at Dave, avoiding Theo's gaze, 'cause if I look at him now I'm gonna say things I'm gonna regret. "Theo's right. We've gotta get this all sorted out so I can get Dad back and Theo can go back to where he belongs." God, I hope that last part didn't sound as bitter as I thought it did. "What do we need to do to get my Dad unstuck? If he's still in there, but stuck behind Theoden, then how are we gonna ask the 'ol King to kindly step aside to let Dad through, especially since he really has no clue what the hell is going on. He doesn't know he switched with Bernard, he thinks he's Saruman's prisoner. Let me know what I can do, and I'll do it, just so we can get this over with and done and all move on with our fuckin' lives. The less people involved the fuckin' better, 'cause I think I'll probably lose it now if I have to deal with a hobbit or a fuckin' elf."
Dave: I give Jay a long look back, and then stand, walk to the liquor cabinet, and find a bottle you two somehow missed. There’s a shot glass in the cabinet drawer, and I fill it, kick it back, fill it again and return to my seat, setting the bottle out on the coffee table where any of us can reach it. They’re both looking at me like I’ve lost my mind now, and maybe I have. They want a nice pat answer. It’s not like we all had little blue switches installed on our neck marked ‘shift’ and ‘unshift’, it’s not anywhere near that easy. I wish like hell it was.
“I don’t have a clue how you’ll get your dad unstuck, Jay. It’s different for each of us. I mean, look at Theodred. Right now, Paris is back in Middle Earth, fighting for both of their lives. Would you like to know where I go when Faramir shifts in?” I gulp the shot I’ve been holding. “I don’t go anywhere. I get locked up here.” With a thin smile, I tap my head. “No rushing off to help the good citizens of Gondor, teach them how to build flush toilets or curse in Australian, nope, not me, I just go into the dark. Every one of us shifts differently.” Well, there they go, just want they wanted. Not a single decent idea from me. Jay’s really got to be impressed with my resources. “I’ll tell you what though, I think probably the first step is to get him out of that hospital if there’s a way. You’re family, Jay. Would they release him to you based on that? Can you take him home? We know he’s not crazy. We know the doctors aren’t any help for what’s going on. Maybe that’s a good first step. Get him out of there, and see about his shift afterwards. Keep in mind we’ve got a few powerful friends around here, and no, you don’t have to involve everyone, but don’t ignore the fact that we’ve got some good resources.” I laugh slightly at your last demand. “No hobbits, I promise. There’s a few elves that seriously kick ass around here, though.”
Theodred: Listening to Jay’s questions and Dave’s answers that are not really answers, there are two things on my mind. I have to talk to my father, before anyone does anything else; I want to explain to him what has happened. Give him the chance to help if he can, but most of all, tell him what he will be going back to. I owe him that. I cannot let him shift out without knowing what he shifts into.
The other thing is Jay. As soon as I said I was going back, I felt him start to shut down again, to pull away from me, and I do not want that. I need him as much as he needs me right now. There is no point in either of us going through this alone, when we can be together. And I do not want to leave him. Duty and family and Rohan may call, but for the first time in my life, I would give them all up. For him. And he is pushing me away.
I don’t know how to fix this. I want last night back, would give anything to feel that closeness again, and don’t know how. So I stay silent, watch and listen as they talk around me, and feel hope begin to slip from me, for my father, for him, for me.
Jay: I can't fucking believe it.
Dave has no idea what to do.
I've wasted almost a whole day waiting for this guy, and I believed Theo when he said Dave knew the answers. My eyes are burning, and I bite my tongue so hard against the flood of despair raging through me that I taste blood. Just hold it together a little longer, Jaybird.
You can finally leave now.
I stand up slowly, running my hand through my greasy hair. I feel more tired that I think I've ever been in my life. "No, Dave, the hospital won't let him out, even with me. I already asked everyone I could, but Theoden's got himself a rep as a violent fella, and this asshole doc is keepin' him under lock and key until Theoden says the magic words: my name is Bernard Hill. So I guess I'm back to square one again. All the elves in Tolkien-land can't help Theoden if we can't get him out of the hospital."
I make my way to the door, picking up my leather jacket from the chair I'd tossed it on the night before. I'm still not lookin' at Theo, though I can feel his eyes burning through me just as hot as his mouth did against my skin when we had woken up together. God, what I wouldn't give to have that moment again, those minutes of bliss where hope still existed, where I'd started to feel alive again.
Shows me, huh?
I accidentally kick one of the empty whiskey bottles on the ground as I step to the door, and wince as I look remorsefully back at Dave. "Um, sorry about the mess, man. Once I get a job I'll pay you back for all this." I open the door, and the bright sunlight hurts my eyes, but I ignore it, like I'm ignoring the throbbing ache in my chest. Gotten good at ignoring pain. I pull on my shades and look back into the room, staring more at the floor than anyone else. "Thanks for your help, both of you. Sorry to give you such a rude mornin' Dave. Promise I won't be botherin' you again like this." I tilt my head towards Theo, still not lookin' at him. I know he can't see my eyes through the shades, which suits me just fine. "Gimme a call when you want a ride to the hospital, Theodred. I'm sure your Dad'll want to see you again."
I turn my back on both of them, on the last hope I had, and make my way to the car as I fish a smoke out of one pocket and the car keys out of another.
Dave: I’m on my feet, instinctively moving to block Jay, but then I stop short as my brain kicks in. Stop him for what? I don’t have the answers he needs, and it’s been pretty obvious since I got home that neither of us are comfortable around the other. It’s not him, really – it’s the circumstances. I can’t blame him, and as he walks off, I go to the door, and watch him leave. Theodred’s crowding up next to me, and I turn quickly and take him by the arms. “You know how to reach him. Give him a little time to breathe and clear his head, and then you can call him. He trusts you, and he cares for you, a lot. Theodred… I’m sorry. You counted on me to help, didn’t you? I want to! Bernard’s my friend, I hate knowing he’s trapped like this.” Theodred’s pulling away from me now, and I let him go. As much as I’d love to lock him in the house and just keep him safe and quiet till Paris returns, I know I can’t do that. I need to stop thinking of him as a kid. He’s not. He’s a damned prince, and a fine man in his own right. It’s the newness of the shift that makes me think of him as a child, but I have to get over that. I give one last glance towards Jay as he climbs in his car, and shut the door quietly, turning to look at Theodred again. “Maybe I should go. Maybe it’d be better if Faramir was here to talk with you now.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt this incompetent in my life.
I hear a rap on the door, and wonder if Jay’s changed his mind and wants to stay and talk some more. I’m willing to try if he is. I pull the door open, and my mouth falls open. It’s Hugo, just about the last person I expected to see right now. And the look on his face… can’t quite read it but it’s not good, that I can tell. Fuck. Day just keeps getting better and better. “Just a second mate, hold that pose right there!” I shut the door, and turn back to look at Theodred. “I’ve got to go out for a while, we can talk more when I get back, all right? Try to get some rest, bet your head’s still pounding. Use the telephone if you want some food.” I know I sound frazzled, but the whole Hugo situation is still freshly burnt into my mind, too, and I’ve got to see what’s still bugging him. “I promise I’ll be back soon, a couple hours at most.” I duck out the door and slam it behind me, ignoring Hugo’s odd look at my graceful exit, and I haul him off towards my car. Jay’s still revving his engine, smoking a cigarette and looking like he’s getting himself calmed out enough to drive. I nod as I pass his window, and lean to quickly say “I’m sorry” before climbing in my car with Hugo and driving off. Definitely need to get Hugo out of here right now, he’s got enough on his plate without trying to understand what’s been going on with everyone else while he’s been gone.
Theodred: I know Dave thinks letting Jay go is the right thing to do, but I know it is not. I need to stay close to him if I am ever going to reach him again, and if I let him go now, I lose him. As Dave and his friend leave, I race up the stairs to Dave’s sleeping platform, stuff a change of clothes into Paris’ pack, and pick up my jacket on the way out of the door. Dave has already left, and I race down the steps as Jay is revving the engine, and I can see him preparing to leave. Just as the car is about to move, I’m in front of it, and slam my hands down on the bonnet, my eyes blazing at him. We stare at each other for what seems like a lifetime, before he takes his hands off the wheel, and rolls his eyes at me. Seconds later, I’m sitting in the passenger seat, and we don’t even look at each other as the car takes off down the drive …
I step in further, and my foot hits something. Looking down, I see an empty Grand Marnier bottle roll away from me. It thumps against an upright Scotch bottle, clinking loudly as empty bottles will do. I turn to look quizzically at Theodred, and that's when I notice he's not alone. And they're both stirring now, the sound of the door and the bottles must have gotten through to them. If they drank these bottles dry, they've got to be hurting right about now. I tell myself they've drank over a hundred dollars worth of my booze, and suddenly I don't feel too bad about waking them. Besides, I'm curious as hell about who Theodred's managed to pull into bed already.
So, I step closer, and sit down none to gently on the end of the couch, shaking the entire bed.
Morning, you two! Time to rise and shine!
Theodred: I am awake as soon as I hear the door creak open, and open one eye just a crack to assess the danger. I will be eternally grateful to whatever Gods protect this world that it is Dave who approaches, and I do not have to leap up and defend us from attack, as I think if I had to move suddenly I would damage something vital. My head pounds, and my body feels, well, like shit, comforted only by the feel of Jay lying with his back against my chest, my face buried in his hair, which smells of him. And those smokes he … smokes. I know he’s awake, yet he chooses to feign sleep, as I think he is concerned about meeting Dave.
Then Dave sits down on the bed, and his voice makes my head pound even more. I open my eye a little wider to look at him without letting in too much light, and tighten my arm around Jay, letting him know he does not have to move just yet.
“Fuck, Dave. Do you have to be so loud?” My voice feels dry and dusty. I really need a drink of water, and have a sudden craving for strong coffee, and omelettes … and a shower would feel so good but that would mean I had to move, and at the moment, I do not know if I can. I wish that we were lying in my bedchamber in Meduseld curled up in my furs, and Werian was about to wake us with breakfast. She always knew when Eomer and I had overindulged, and would pamper us as she had done when we were children in her charge, much to my father’s annoyance.
My father, our fathers. How could I have forgotten why we were here, but I really need to pull myself together before getting into that. I look at Dave with what I hope is apologetic pleading on my face. “Coffee would taste really good right now. Were you thinking of switching on the machine?”
Dave: Okay, this is a bit surreal. I’ve just stumbled into my own home, through my own empty liquor bottles, and now I’m expected to provide coffee service. I catch the look on Theodred’s face and am pleased to see a mixture of pain and apology. Hell, it’s fine really, I haven’t exactly lived the life of a saint but I can’t resist letting him wonder what I think for a minute. “Coffee would taste great, yeah. I’ve just had a hell of a night myself, not sure if I can haul these old bones as far as the kitchen or push something as difficult as the ‘on’ button.”
I do want to know who he’s picked up. I lean over, and deliberately stare at the face of the guy Theodred’s got in his clutches. Definitely a bar pick-up. He looks the type. Bit harsh around the edges, but I admit it’s an intriguing face, unconventional but not hard on the eyes at all. Not exactly what I thought Theodred’s type was, but choices can go pretty wild in a dark bar after a few drinks and christ knows what style of tempting pickup lines.
“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll fire up the coffee. And I’ll dig up some asprins. But you’ve got to get your handsome friend upright soon so I can have a proper introduction, sound good?” I make absolutely sure your friend can’t see my face before I give you a small wink and subtle ‘thumbs up’ sign.
Theodred: A hell of a night? I manage to open both eyes, and realise he has a black eye! I had not thought Dave to be the sort to get into a fight, but he is Faramir’s counterpart; maybe he is more like my old friend I thought. I look at him quizzically, but he shrugs and grins, leaning over to get a better look at Jay, and I surprise myself by tightening my arm around him protectively.
I will be forever grateful that Dave volunteers to make coffee, and wonder how tasty these asprins will be. I wonder if they resemble the omelettes that were yesterday’s breakfast?
I manage a grin at Dave as he leaves for the kitchen, his thumbs up sign obvioulsy approval of Jay, but I think I know what he thinks Jay is, and will put that right as soon as he comes back. I lie back against the pillows and sigh a little; they feel so good against my aching head. I know Jay is awake, so I lean closer, wondering if his barriers will come crashing down again this morning, or if I am still allowed a little of last night’s closeness. I trace the outline of his tattoo with my tongue, sucking on the drop of blood at it’s tip. Ah, that got his attention!
“Jay. It is time to get up, Dave will be back with coffee and asprins soon, and you heard him say he wants to know who you are.”
Jay: I've been awake this whole fucking time, trying to keep my eyes closed and breathing even as I listened to Theo smooth things over with Dave. My first impulse had been to bolt when I'd heard Dave's voice, but when Theo held me tighter, practically speakin' to me to through his skin, I relaxed against him again. Why the fuck I trust this guy I've only known for 24 hours, I have no fucking idea. But I do, and I followed his lead.
My head's hurtin' pretty bad, and it tastes like a small animal shat in my mouth, but it's nothing a cigarette, a little fresh air, and another shot of whiskey won't fix. Hair of the fucking dog, man.
I'm dyin' to see who this mystery man is, the guy who's gonna fix all our problems. I'm even more amazed that he's fucking makin' coffee for the two jerks who drained his best bottles of whiskey and crashed out on his couch when he wasn't even home. I don't get it. He's probably gonna spit in each cup before pouring us the coffee . . .
I almost jump out of my fucking skin when I feel Theo's hot tongue on my back, and my eyes fly open as my back arches involuntarily towards him. When he sucks on the spot I know where the blood drop is, it sends a jolt straight to the core of my being like I've never felt before. Guess I know he doesn't regret what happened last night . . .
"Yeah, I'm awake Theo," I struggle to keep my voice even, not let him know how much his lickin' my tat rattled me. He was probably just playin' around, trying to get my attention. Nothin' else. I sit up on the bed quickly, out of the range of his luscious mouth, and grab my dirty shirt off the floor. I don't look at Theo as I quickly pull it on, running my fingers through my hair before lookin' down at him.
My breath catches in my throat as he smiles lazily at me. He looks so fucking amazing spread out on the pillows, his hair all messy around his face, his golden skin practically glowing in the morning light. His eyes are such a deep blue, and though they're bleary with hangover, they still hold the same calm strength they did when he pulled me into his arms . . .
"You feelin' OK? You look like hell, kid." I lie with a shaky smile, and hesitate a second before smoothing a lock a hair back from his forehead. God, his skin is so warm, and all I wanna do is press myself against him again.
A clinking noise from the kitchen pulls me back to where I am, and why I'm here. Dad. Theoden. Dave. Answers, answers, answers. I pull away from Theo and slam a shot from the half-full glass in front of me before handing it to him. "Yeah, I know you don't want it right now. But drink up, it'll help the pain."
Dave: I get the coffee brewing, leaning back against the kitchen counter as the machine splutters to life, noting that the lumps on the couch are beginning to get upright. I have to roll my eyes and stifle a laugh as I see Mr. Mystery reach for a glass and kick back more of the refreshment I’ve so thoughtfully provided. I’m a litle surprised to see he only needs to pull on a shirt, he’s already dressed from the waist down. Interesting, that.
All right then. I head back down the hall behind the kitchen to the bathroom, searching for aspirin, taking some myself for the aches and pains, christ, I do feel like that metaphysical truck I joked about with Hugo was a real one right now. Funny how you really don’t feel the pain of a walloping till the next day. Having chugged four asprins, I wander back, grab a cup and pour myself a cup of coffee before finding my way back to the dining room.
“Coffee’s brewed. I figure you two already have a talent for finding the drinks and glasses, so finding your own cupfuls shouldn’t be a problem.” I set the asprin bottle on the coffee table, and relax into a chair near the couch, and sip from my mug. “So! I’m Dave. And I know who you are.” I’m pointing at Theodred as I speak. “But I’d love to know what you two’ve been calling each other. Names aren’t something to take for granted these days, are they?”
Theodred: I smile to myself as Jay moves away from me. I felt his reaction to my touch, and by the look on his face, he remembers last night too. There is also trust in his eyes, and I like that. He pushes his hand through his already messy hair, and I want to pull him back to me, run my fingers through it as I hold him close, and when he reaches out and touches my hair, it takes all that I have not to do exactly that.
“I look like hell? I think you should go look in a mirror, my friend, then tell me who looks like hell!” I finally push myself up to sit on the edge of the couch, and the pain lances through my head once more. I take the glass Jay offers me, and knock it back in one, regretting for an instant my decision to follow Jay’s lead, as I honestly think I am going to vomit, but then my stomach stills, and I let out a long breath as Dave sits down opposite the couch and places a small bottle marked “Aspirins” on the table. So they aren’t like omelettes, which is a shame as I could have eaten at least two, with fries. As I brought Jay into his home, I think it is only right that I make the introductions.
“Dave, this is Jay, Bernard’s son. He is a friend to Paris, and he knows me by my true name, Theodred. He knows who I am, and where I come from.” The look on Dave’s face is unreadable. I do not know if he is annoyed or simply exhausted, so I press on. “I brought him here to convince him of who I am by letting him see you and Faramir shift, but I think we got that sorted out last night.” I grin at Jay, but then turn to more serious matters. “Dave, my father is locked in a hospital in the city, and I must set him free.” I sigh, and decide to let Jay explain the rest. “Jay will tell you about Bernard while I go and get us coffee.” I squeeze Jay’s shoulder on the way past, and give him a smile of encouragement. Coffee, yes, before any more thought is required, and I can rummage around in the cold cabinet in the kitchen; see if there is anything to eat in there. After a futile attempt to find my shirt, I head off in the direction of the kitchen without it.
Jay: Way to skip the small talk Theo. Always to the fucking point. Wonderful. He drops the story on Dave and then leaves me to field the questions that I know are gonna follow. Nothin' to do but press on, I guess, and hope Theo doesn't put any fucking sugar in my coffee.
But finally, here is the mystical Dave, the wizard of Oz who's gonna tell me how to get back to Kansas. Tell ya true, Dave's really not what I expected. I thought he'd be some snobby-ass rich guy with an Armani suit, $100 haircut and a French manicure. Naw, this guy looks, well, almost normal . . . except for the purple shiner on his eye, rumpled clothes, and messy red hair. Looks like he's been through the wringer, and I really don't know what to read off him. My old walls went up as soon as Theo left the room, and I throw on a little barbed wire for good measure. One false move and I'm outta here.
I glance up at Dave, but keep my head low. I'm already putting my keys and change back in my pockets from the pile I threw them onto the table, and I make sure I know where my jacket is. Always good to know how fast you can get out of a bad situation.
I clear my throat, but my voice is still a little raspy. "Um, yeah. Like Theo said, my Dad's Bernard Hill. He was in The Two Towers a few years ago, played King Théoden." I swipe my hand across my face. This is so fucking surreal. "He moved here to Wellington last year with his wife and other son, Gabriel. Um. . . ." Just spit it out Jaybird, and it'll all be over. "A few months ago he went into a coma, and his bitch ex-wife stuck him in Wellington hospital. I arrived here about a week ago to take care of him, and he suddenly woke up. Good fuckin' thing, yeah, but he thinks he's King Theoden, not Bernard Hill." Just don't look at Dave's face Jaybird, just keep talking. God I wish Theo were back with that coffee. "So, um I called up Paris to see if maybe he could talk to the crazy 'ol man, talk some sense into him, 'it was only a movie,' yaddah, yaddah . . ." I take a shaky breath. Almost there. "And what do you fuckin' know, Paris isn’t Paris, but prince Theodred of Rohan. Small fuckin' world huh?"
I'm fiddling with my keys in my pocket, darting looks back to the kitchen. Come on Theo! I need some backup in here! "Ummm, so basically then, our Dads have switched minds I guess, and Dad's stuck somewhere in Tolkien-land, and Theoden's strapped to his bed in the hospital 'cause they can't keep him in one place. Nice guy, but he's really unhappy about being here."
Saying everything out loud, I realize I must sound completely, utterly insane. I'm goin' on Theo's word here this guy can help, and I swear to god I keep waiting for a camera crew to pop up from under the couch to tell me I'm the latest victim of a new reality game show. I sound like such an asshole, and I'm already on my feet, hugging myself and pacing, mostly to get as close to the door as possible. I've got no idea what Dave's thinkin' or if he's gonna bust out laughing at me or yell at me to leave or just call the cops to have them haul me away. "Maybe I've just been surrounded by crazy people too long here in New Zealand, but I fuckin' believe Theo when he told me who he was. Took me all day and a hell of a lot of talkin', but I believe him. And I believe him when he tells me you may know how to get our Dads back where they belong. He says you turn into Faramir, and you know how all this shit works. That part, I'm still working on believing, but since I believe all the other shit he's told me, I figure he must not be too far from the mark."
I stop pacing, the door only four feet behind me. I hope it isn't locked. I'm absolutely still, except for the racing of my heart. It's making my headache worse, but I ignore it. All that matters now is Dave's reaction, which will determine whether I get my Dad back, or if I have to break Theo's gorgeous face open with a tire iron.
Dave: I’ve seen caged animals before, and they’ve been more relaxed than this guy. He’s tense enough that I’m pretty sure I could make him bolt by just standing up suddenly. But hell. From what he’s just babbled out, he’s had a damned good reason to drink my house dry and wrap himself around the nearest understanding body, which, if I follow this right, is some twisted version of his own shadow brother. Not that I’m going to fling warped incest in his face about now, he’s got enough to assimilate.
Seems like lately the kids are starting to get involved. And by kids I mean the offspring of us shifters. Hugo managed to keep his out of town, and so did Lawrence. But lately, and hell, maybe it’s Morgoth stepping up the pace? I don’t know. John’s daughter Sam, she got too close and nearly got burnt. Now Bernard’s son. And he’s really gotten close, he’s in on the secret, more than Sam ever learned, thank god. What’s done is done, he knows what he knows, and there’s no sense in chasing him off now. Best to get him settled out, if that’s possible. The guy’s practically vibrating himself through the floorboards.
“So, then. Jay. I’ve missed your dad since he left, we spent the occasional evening out drinking and trying to out-clever each other. He always was a quicker wit than me, and that’s a hard thing to admit.” I’ve spoken in a slow quiet voice, staying relaxed. And you’re still here, there’s a start. “Sit down, you’re heads gotta be pounding, give that aspirin a chance to kick in.” I glance at Theodred, who’s staring at Jay, looking ready to run if he does. Kid’s got a crush on this one, that’s pretty obvious. “So, then. Theodred’s convinced you he’s not Paris. He’s right. Paris isn’t here, dammit, and I wish the hell he’d get home. Theo’s a good guy, and Paris wants me to look out for him while he’s gone. So, I guess you’re not the only one with questions here. You probably want to see me turn myself inside out and go Gondorian on you. I can do that if it’s what you need. I do believe you, every word you say. And I guess my question to you is, are you good for Theodred right now? He’s barely been in our world a few days and I’ve got no clue what you’ve been up to with him. Look, I know you want to help your dad, hell, I do too. I like your dad, and he’s one of us.” I give you a wry smile, and I really wish you would just sit the hell down! “You know, one of us, secret society, we meet in caves and have matching rings sanctified in blood. Look Jay, we’re just actors with a curse. Either you get it or you don’t, and I think you get it. Please, sit the fuck down.”
Theodred: It takes a while to find everything in the kitchen and as for food? The leftovers of the Chinese I had with Dave two nights ago are really not appealling. After pouring out two large mugs of coffee, and grabbing a couple of apples from the bench, I find something to carry them on, and head back. When I hear Dave ask if Jay is good for me, I do not know whether to laugh or take him to task. I am not some boy who does not know his own mind, I am, as Jay may say “the fucking Prince of Rohan”! I like this word. It conveys much.
One glance is all it takes to realise that Jay is about to run, and my heart flips over in my chest. “Jay.” I need him to look at me. Our eyes meet, and that haunted look is back. For a second, I think I’ve lost him. My own eyes soften as I look at him, and I motion with my head towards the couch. “Sit down, drink coffee.” My eyes never leave him, and only when he is sitting on the couch do I join him, and hand him a coffee, sitting so close I can feel the heat of his skin through his shirt on my bare arm. I tip two of these Aspirins out of the bottle and swallow them, washing them down with a gulp of coffee, and push an apple towards Jay, but he looks at it as if he does not recognise what it is. Maybe it is a rare fruit in these lands.
I can feel him relax a little as Dave confirms what I told him, and it occurs to me that he is a lot like Brego was when I first laid eyes on him, wild and untamed, and it took a while before he fully trusted me, let me get close to him. He was never broken, we just came to an understanding, I trust him with my life, and he trusts me with his. Perhaps given a little more time, Jay will understand that too. But for now it is finally time to talk with Dave.
Sighing, I look at Dave, and hope he can help us, or to be more precise, help my father. “Dave, I need to know if there is a way to help them both. A way to help them that doesn’t mean I am …” Suddenly I want to run, and for the second time since I got here, I can feel real panic rising to the surface, and I feel trapped, have to leave. As I move to stand, I feel Jay’s hand on my arm, my wild eyes meet his calm ones, and I sit back down slowly, taking a moment to ground myself before continuing. “A way to help them that doesn’t condemn my father to a living death.”
Jay: Dave fucking believes me. I'm so relieved I could laugh. Or cry. Or both at once. So I do nothing, watchin' for the trap I know is about to spring. I still don't trust Dave as far as I could throw him, but at least he's playing along now. And with Theo back in the picture, sittin' so close to me on the couch I have to repress shivers, I feel a little safer.
Plus, he's brought me coffee. Without sugar. I can handle this.
Until Dave keeps talking.
I know Dave's tryin' to relax me, but there's somethin' in his tone I don't quite like. I'm not quite sure if he's kiddin' or not. He says he believes me, then starts talkin' about 'going Gondorian,' and secret societies, and I wonder if that's how Dad got involved in all this. Fuck, and I thought the Masons were creepy.
And what the fuck is this 'good for Theodred' shit? "Wait, wait, am I good enough for Theodred?" Dave sounds like a stodgy father checkin' out his cherry daughter's new boyfriend, and that pisses me off so bad I'm almost ready to leave again. Me, I'm used to gettin' the once over and comin' up short. What I don't like is what it says about what he thinks of Theo. "Yeah, I know he's new here, but he's not a fucking baby. He's the fucking prince of Rohan! And hiding things from him is not the way to get shit done. Did you think you could hide the story from him?" I let my eyes bore into Dave's, sayin' with my eyes what I won't say with my words. I put my hand on Theo's knee, as if to remind myself he's there, he's real, he's alive.
I hold Dave's gaze for a second longer before pulling away, not sure what he's thinkin' behind those tired eyes. I suddenly feel bad, realizin' that I'm the one who waltzed in here and demanded answers he may not have been expectin' to give . . . but that still doesn't give him the right to treat Theo like a fuckin' imbecile.
But then somethin' hits me as Theo begins to speak, the missing piece that has just fallen into place: Paris and Dave. Fuck, they're not just roomies. Why else would Theo be sleepin' on a couch and not in his own room? I can tell that by how Dave looks at Theo, barely checked resentment in his eyes. Theo took his boyfriend away. No wonder he's not happy Theo's here. Guess I should cut the man a little more slack.
I stop worrying about Dave the second I feel Theo start to rise off the couch, start feelin' his own agitation as clearly as it was my own. It's my turn to calm him, and I manage to put aside my own fears to give him a look that says 'I need you here, man. We can handle this together.' It cools him off a bit, and he sits down, but he's still boiling below the surface.
Then he mentions condemnin' the 'ol King to a living death, and it takes me a minute to figure out what the hell he meant. But when I do, the knowledge slams into me like a fuckin' plane hittin' a building, and suddenly things aren't gonna be as easy as I thought. "Fuck, Theo . . . Dad wasn't in a coma . . . that Wormy guy . . . you don't mean that Dad's in Rohan right now with him?"
Dave: Bite it back, Dave, it’s not what they need right now. They’re both new to this, they’ve got no idea of the war we’ve been fighting for years now. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything from him, Jay. He’d just gotten here! He was exhausted, he could barely stand upright! And let’s add to that the fact that I had no clue where Bernard had been taken, I just knew from random gossip he’d had to go away. You follow? I wasn’t hiding anything. I barely knew anything. You two have been off racing ahead before any of the rest of us could even think about helping you.”
And now it’s my turn to stand and pace. Life was just getting back to something resembling normal. We got Hugo home. Paris could be back anytime, and I send out another quick prayer that he’s getting along okay right now. Normal? I have to laugh, and I set my cup down so I can rub my face with both hands. Last night I was having the crap beat out of me by the Witch King, and now I’m facing down the son of the King of Rohan and his shift.
At least the Witch King was easy to understand. His goals were pretty dammed clear. These two, I have to muddle through what their plans are, because they’re coming out in fits and starts. “Okay you two. Breathe. Smoke em if you’ve got em. And just calm down. So. The basic problem is that Bernard’s body is locked up here in Wellington, but he’s stuck in his shift. And Bernard’s back in Rohan under Wormtongue’s control, from the bits you’ve said here. That means Theoden King is here, in the hospital, right?”
I sit down again, sighing a long breath. “And Paris is stumbling his way back into that mess of a household. Wonderful.” I glance at the two of you, shaking my head. Possibly the most delicate situation we’ve come across yet and the cavalry consists of two completely green, overzealous, skittish young men who barely have a grasp of the big picture. Absolutely perfect.
“Okay, I understand the situation now. We’ve got a stuck shift, and Grima’s probably being used to help keep Bernard stuck. Yeah, that would be the bastards style, all right, he likes to get us ‘stuck’. Ask Hugo. Ask me sometime when I know you better. We need to figure out a game plan here, and see about getting some other talent involved.” Jay gives me a sharp look when I mention bringing in others. “You didn’t think it was just Faramir and Theodred and Theoden over here, did you? Believe me, you’ve just seen the tip of the iceberg so far.”
Theodred: I look at Jay, my hand on his, which is now gripping my knee like a vice. “No, it is not certain that your father is in Rohan.” My mind is racing now, once I have faced the fact my father may have to go back, it is easier to think of the possibilities for his rescue. And if I will not be alone in this … I look at Dave intently. “When you and Faramir shift, you do not change places with him as Paris and I do, and you said the shift can be different for each person. What if it is the same for them? That Bernard is still here, but cannot find his way back? Might not my father be able to restore him to himself by shifting out?”
Dave nods at me. “And there are others in Rohan who can help free my father from Wormtongue? Who are they, and how can I find them?” I know I am bombarding him with questions, but there is much I would know. “I … I must talk with my father.” My head is spinning, and I cannot sit still. I leave Jay on the couch, and begin to pace backwards and forwards in front of the fireplace. “We need to know if Bernard can be restored first, and if he can, we can concentrate our efforts on affecting a rescue in Rohan. I know who is loyal to the King, and who serves Grima, and we can trust Eomer and Eowyn to help us …” Pausing for a moment, there is something they should both know, something I read last night while Jay was in the bathroom, something he let slip, and I needed to know.
It can be a difficult thing to do, talk of your own death. “I know what it is that you would both keep from me if you could. I know that four days ago, according to Tolkien, I died at the Ford of Isen. That it is thought that my death was the aim of the attack, that once I fell, mortally wounded, his forces retreated.” I turn to face them. “I do not know how or why I cheated my destiny, but the Valar saw fit to spare my life, and for that, and for brining me to this world, I will be eternally grateful.” I smile softly at Jay. “But first and foremost, I have a duty to my King, my people, to Rohan. To fulfil that duty, I must help restore Bernard to you …” I look across at Jay, and my next words are so hard to say. “… and I must return to my home, let Paris return to his.”
Jay: I'm followin' every word Theo's saying, and when he mentions his death, I feel a hot lance of guilt shoot through my chest. I look at my feet, rememberin' the look on Theo's face when I oh-so-gently told him about it yesterday, the fucking confusion and horror as he had thrown himself away from me.
What the fuck am I thinking gettin' mad at Dave for. I am no good for Theo.
And then Theo says it, what I knew all along and didn't want to admit, and I'm glad I'm lookin' down 'cause my face is burning like nothin' else. Of course Theo was gonna go back home. He doesn't fuckin' belong here in this world, and Paris needs to come back to his weird-ass actor boyfriend. Theo stole his life, like Theoden is stealing my Dad's. It's not fuckin' right.
I take a shaky breath, and push against myself, and carefully ignore the fact that this news hurts worse than anything I've heard all week. Just another fuckin' bullet through the heart, no big deal. I start tellin' myself what I need to hear to make it through this talk before I can finally leave: Theo's not important. He's just another guy, another brick in the wall. Nothin' special at all. One drunk night really means nothin' when you look at the big picture. We're here to fix our Dads, that's it.
What did I tell you, Jaybird? Never give a fucking inch. When will ya learn, ya bastard?
I look hard at Dave, avoiding Theo's gaze, 'cause if I look at him now I'm gonna say things I'm gonna regret. "Theo's right. We've gotta get this all sorted out so I can get Dad back and Theo can go back to where he belongs." God, I hope that last part didn't sound as bitter as I thought it did. "What do we need to do to get my Dad unstuck? If he's still in there, but stuck behind Theoden, then how are we gonna ask the 'ol King to kindly step aside to let Dad through, especially since he really has no clue what the hell is going on. He doesn't know he switched with Bernard, he thinks he's Saruman's prisoner. Let me know what I can do, and I'll do it, just so we can get this over with and done and all move on with our fuckin' lives. The less people involved the fuckin' better, 'cause I think I'll probably lose it now if I have to deal with a hobbit or a fuckin' elf."
Dave: I give Jay a long look back, and then stand, walk to the liquor cabinet, and find a bottle you two somehow missed. There’s a shot glass in the cabinet drawer, and I fill it, kick it back, fill it again and return to my seat, setting the bottle out on the coffee table where any of us can reach it. They’re both looking at me like I’ve lost my mind now, and maybe I have. They want a nice pat answer. It’s not like we all had little blue switches installed on our neck marked ‘shift’ and ‘unshift’, it’s not anywhere near that easy. I wish like hell it was.
“I don’t have a clue how you’ll get your dad unstuck, Jay. It’s different for each of us. I mean, look at Theodred. Right now, Paris is back in Middle Earth, fighting for both of their lives. Would you like to know where I go when Faramir shifts in?” I gulp the shot I’ve been holding. “I don’t go anywhere. I get locked up here.” With a thin smile, I tap my head. “No rushing off to help the good citizens of Gondor, teach them how to build flush toilets or curse in Australian, nope, not me, I just go into the dark. Every one of us shifts differently.” Well, there they go, just want they wanted. Not a single decent idea from me. Jay’s really got to be impressed with my resources. “I’ll tell you what though, I think probably the first step is to get him out of that hospital if there’s a way. You’re family, Jay. Would they release him to you based on that? Can you take him home? We know he’s not crazy. We know the doctors aren’t any help for what’s going on. Maybe that’s a good first step. Get him out of there, and see about his shift afterwards. Keep in mind we’ve got a few powerful friends around here, and no, you don’t have to involve everyone, but don’t ignore the fact that we’ve got some good resources.” I laugh slightly at your last demand. “No hobbits, I promise. There’s a few elves that seriously kick ass around here, though.”
Theodred: Listening to Jay’s questions and Dave’s answers that are not really answers, there are two things on my mind. I have to talk to my father, before anyone does anything else; I want to explain to him what has happened. Give him the chance to help if he can, but most of all, tell him what he will be going back to. I owe him that. I cannot let him shift out without knowing what he shifts into.
The other thing is Jay. As soon as I said I was going back, I felt him start to shut down again, to pull away from me, and I do not want that. I need him as much as he needs me right now. There is no point in either of us going through this alone, when we can be together. And I do not want to leave him. Duty and family and Rohan may call, but for the first time in my life, I would give them all up. For him. And he is pushing me away.
I don’t know how to fix this. I want last night back, would give anything to feel that closeness again, and don’t know how. So I stay silent, watch and listen as they talk around me, and feel hope begin to slip from me, for my father, for him, for me.
Jay: I can't fucking believe it.
Dave has no idea what to do.
I've wasted almost a whole day waiting for this guy, and I believed Theo when he said Dave knew the answers. My eyes are burning, and I bite my tongue so hard against the flood of despair raging through me that I taste blood. Just hold it together a little longer, Jaybird.
You can finally leave now.
I stand up slowly, running my hand through my greasy hair. I feel more tired that I think I've ever been in my life. "No, Dave, the hospital won't let him out, even with me. I already asked everyone I could, but Theoden's got himself a rep as a violent fella, and this asshole doc is keepin' him under lock and key until Theoden says the magic words: my name is Bernard Hill. So I guess I'm back to square one again. All the elves in Tolkien-land can't help Theoden if we can't get him out of the hospital."
I make my way to the door, picking up my leather jacket from the chair I'd tossed it on the night before. I'm still not lookin' at Theo, though I can feel his eyes burning through me just as hot as his mouth did against my skin when we had woken up together. God, what I wouldn't give to have that moment again, those minutes of bliss where hope still existed, where I'd started to feel alive again.
Shows me, huh?
I accidentally kick one of the empty whiskey bottles on the ground as I step to the door, and wince as I look remorsefully back at Dave. "Um, sorry about the mess, man. Once I get a job I'll pay you back for all this." I open the door, and the bright sunlight hurts my eyes, but I ignore it, like I'm ignoring the throbbing ache in my chest. Gotten good at ignoring pain. I pull on my shades and look back into the room, staring more at the floor than anyone else. "Thanks for your help, both of you. Sorry to give you such a rude mornin' Dave. Promise I won't be botherin' you again like this." I tilt my head towards Theo, still not lookin' at him. I know he can't see my eyes through the shades, which suits me just fine. "Gimme a call when you want a ride to the hospital, Theodred. I'm sure your Dad'll want to see you again."
I turn my back on both of them, on the last hope I had, and make my way to the car as I fish a smoke out of one pocket and the car keys out of another.
Dave: I’m on my feet, instinctively moving to block Jay, but then I stop short as my brain kicks in. Stop him for what? I don’t have the answers he needs, and it’s been pretty obvious since I got home that neither of us are comfortable around the other. It’s not him, really – it’s the circumstances. I can’t blame him, and as he walks off, I go to the door, and watch him leave. Theodred’s crowding up next to me, and I turn quickly and take him by the arms. “You know how to reach him. Give him a little time to breathe and clear his head, and then you can call him. He trusts you, and he cares for you, a lot. Theodred… I’m sorry. You counted on me to help, didn’t you? I want to! Bernard’s my friend, I hate knowing he’s trapped like this.” Theodred’s pulling away from me now, and I let him go. As much as I’d love to lock him in the house and just keep him safe and quiet till Paris returns, I know I can’t do that. I need to stop thinking of him as a kid. He’s not. He’s a damned prince, and a fine man in his own right. It’s the newness of the shift that makes me think of him as a child, but I have to get over that. I give one last glance towards Jay as he climbs in his car, and shut the door quietly, turning to look at Theodred again. “Maybe I should go. Maybe it’d be better if Faramir was here to talk with you now.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt this incompetent in my life.
I hear a rap on the door, and wonder if Jay’s changed his mind and wants to stay and talk some more. I’m willing to try if he is. I pull the door open, and my mouth falls open. It’s Hugo, just about the last person I expected to see right now. And the look on his face… can’t quite read it but it’s not good, that I can tell. Fuck. Day just keeps getting better and better. “Just a second mate, hold that pose right there!” I shut the door, and turn back to look at Theodred. “I’ve got to go out for a while, we can talk more when I get back, all right? Try to get some rest, bet your head’s still pounding. Use the telephone if you want some food.” I know I sound frazzled, but the whole Hugo situation is still freshly burnt into my mind, too, and I’ve got to see what’s still bugging him. “I promise I’ll be back soon, a couple hours at most.” I duck out the door and slam it behind me, ignoring Hugo’s odd look at my graceful exit, and I haul him off towards my car. Jay’s still revving his engine, smoking a cigarette and looking like he’s getting himself calmed out enough to drive. I nod as I pass his window, and lean to quickly say “I’m sorry” before climbing in my car with Hugo and driving off. Definitely need to get Hugo out of here right now, he’s got enough on his plate without trying to understand what’s been going on with everyone else while he’s been gone.
Theodred: I know Dave thinks letting Jay go is the right thing to do, but I know it is not. I need to stay close to him if I am ever going to reach him again, and if I let him go now, I lose him. As Dave and his friend leave, I race up the stairs to Dave’s sleeping platform, stuff a change of clothes into Paris’ pack, and pick up my jacket on the way out of the door. Dave has already left, and I race down the steps as Jay is revving the engine, and I can see him preparing to leave. Just as the car is about to move, I’m in front of it, and slam my hands down on the bonnet, my eyes blazing at him. We stare at each other for what seems like a lifetime, before he takes his hands off the wheel, and rolls his eyes at me. Seconds later, I’m sitting in the passenger seat, and we don’t even look at each other as the car takes off down the drive …
