rohanson: (Default)

Dave: An empty pizza box is on the floor, and a half full one is on the bed, somewhere near our feet. We've got one slice of double cheese between us, and are fighting over who gets to bite the point off of it. You fake left, I go right, we both dart back and end up in a kiss, the pizza slice forgotten for the moment. I still haven't gotten my fill of kissing you, or touching your face, stroking your hair, it's almost as if I'm afraid to stop, or you'll be taken away again. But I want to indulge your every craving, and I know you wanted ice cream. Come on, Dave, he'll still be here in three minutes! "That strawberry ice cream's downstairs. Want me to get you some?"

That was exactly what I needed. Dave and Pizza )
rohanson: (Default)
It's late when I finally get home. Funny that, only been here a couple of weeks, and it feels like the nearest thing I’ve had to a home in a long time. Guess that has a lot to do with who lives here.

I ache in places that should have made it obvious that Theo and Jay were more than just mates. I feel like such a shit, blurting out all that stuff about Theo, but how was I to know? Next time we talk, gonna clue him in on the concept of sharing. Next time. If there is a next time.

And that shift? Didn’t feel like the others. Passing through that intense light, the way Theo screamed in agony as he left and Jay falling to his knees at the same time? Course, I don’t exactly know what a “normal” shift is, but that felt different. Jay didn’t look too good when I left him, or rather when he slammed the door in my face and left me to hitch home. I suppose I should call him tomorrow, see how he is. Maybe by that time, I’ll know how Theo really is.

I shrug my jacket off, and leave it lying where it falls, my feet automatically heading towards the kitchen. A cold beer slides down so sweetly, and a second one is still in my hand as I head towards the shower. Oh God! The shower! The rest of my clothes litter my trail, and soon I’m standing under hot jets of water, and it’s the nearest thing I’ve come to heaven, even though it wasn’t this body that’s been stumbling and falling through Rohan these past few days.

My fingertips are starting to wrinkle by the time I finally step out and head for bed. Or rather head for the couch. Takes me a minute to remember I don’t sleep there any more. Or do I? I switch off the lights and head for the stairs. What if what we tasted before I left is gone? My breath hitches at the thought, and I really need to hold you and tell you I’m sorry for leaving. I need you to tell me everything is gonna be okay ...

Dave, where are you? )
rohanson: (Theodred)
Morning brightens the sky, touching it with a warm glow, banishing the grey in-between hours. I have been awake for most of the night, and as dawn rose, watched the waves over Jay's shoulder. How could I sleep after talking with Paris, so many thoughts running through my head?

If what Paris says is true, and I have no reason to doubt him, I may die before I ever set eyes on my father again, before I can fulfil my promises to Jay. And one of those may not even be possible. If Bernard is truly destroyed, how can I ever face Jay again? He still lies with his back to me, my face buried in his hair. Seems to be the way our bodies naturally curve around one another while we sleep, and it is the perfect way to wake up. But if I cannot restore his father to him, I can never have this again. I sigh deeply, hoping it doesn't wake him.

Paris. A good man, who valiantly did his best to keep me alive, and how do I repay him? I take his body and use it as if it were my own, but how can I be sorry? How can I ever regret what I found here? My arms tighten around Jay once more, and he moves towards wakefulness.

And Dave. He welcomed me into his house, gave me food and shelter, and I gave him nothing in return but worry and empty bottles. If my father knew how I had repaid his hospitality ... I banish all these thoughts from my head, and concentrate on the body in my arms that is now squirming round to face me, eyes heavy with sleep and barely open look into mine briefly, before his head buries itself in my arms with a sigh.

Moving my legs, I realise I am stuck to this blanket, and laugh a little at the state of us both. "Jay." He groans and pulls me closer, ignoring me. I give in, and for several minutes, lie wrapped up in him, listening to the little snoring noises he makes in the half sleep he's in. But there is something I must do, something I've never done before, and I have spent much of my sleepless night thinking about it. "Jay, I need to ..." He finally looks up at me as I untangle myself from him. He's obviously not awake enough to join me, so I get to my feet, the cold air waking me even more. "I will be back soon." With that, I run down the beach, through the shallow water, and throw myself into the waves.

Jay - I don't wanna wake up )
rohanson: (Theodred)
Happens straight after Theo and Jay's night on the beach and Morgoth grabs an opportunity

I lie and watch the fire for a while after Jay falls asleep, but it is not the heat from the dying flames that keeps me warm, rather the heat we built between us, the heat that lingers around us as we lie curled together. He moans a little every now and then, moving closer, if that is possible. Last night as I held him I wondered what memories filled his dreams. Tonight I know, and when he whimpers against my skin, his brow creasing, I stroke his hair until he slips back into dreamless slumber.

Sighing, I bury my face in his neck. I know what I need to do; I need to talk to Paris. I have not spoken to him for days, and must tell him about my father, must tell him that in a few hours, once dawn lights the sky, I will shift back. Relaxing, I feel my way to the link that joins us, and seek him out.

Paris? )
rohanson: (Theodred)
Takes place the same evening as this.

Chinese food is indeed enjoyable, I just wish I'd had more of an appetite, but did I try a little of everything. Noodles and rice were new textures to me, and tasty, and the pieces of pork roasted with spices to make it pink and sweet were delicious. Chicken served with small curved nuts was another dish I enjoyed, but I think my favourites were the egg rolls, which, I was surprised to learn, are Paris' favourites too.

There were small, sweet, crunchy things to eat after the meal, which, when broken in half, revealed strips of paper with cryptic words on them. Mine said "Everything is not yet lost". Given my current situation, I folded the small strip of paper and put it in my pocket. Daves said "Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life." I noticed he did the same.

Meeting Paris )
rohanson: (Theodred)
The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Dave. I've been sleeping spooned against his back, where I've wanted to be for weeks now, arms around him, his shoulder within kissing distance.

I nuzzle his neck, moving the hand that was holding him close against me lower. )

Starts off NC-17
rohanson: (Default)
Paris: It's dark, and I'm snuggled up against Dave, half awake, half asleep, when Theodred pulls me in. I know he's alone and hurt, and should have expected the nightmare, but this time, I can reach through the link between us, and it's different, open, I can feel him, this time, he can feel me.

"It's a nightmare, Theo; let it go, let yourself sleep, dream of Eowyn"

Theodred: Noise of battle surrounds me, I turn, and everywhere, my escape is blocked. I have no weapon to fight and they are closing in around me ...

A voice slips through the darkness, a voice I do not know, but it calms me, calls me by the name Eowyn uses when she is close to me, eyes bright. I follow the voice, and I'm lying in her arms, soft and welcoming, and I sleep ...

Paris: Smiling, I follow him into dreams ...
rohanson: (Default)
We spent the evening talking, touching, getting used to being around each other without all those invisible barriers that had been keeping us apart. It was good, felt comfortable, felt right. And we talked about shifting, how it's different for everyone, Dave told me about his life with Faramir in it, and what had really happened that left him with heightened senses. And he explained what little they know about Morgoth and his plans, and how they think Hugo's disappearance may be tied up with that, about John's run in with Lurtz and Viggo's animated experience. Then we left Middle Earth behind for a while, and stuffed ourselves with Chinese food before flopping down on the couch.

A fire crackled in the hearth, and as Dave dozed with his head in my lap, my hand played through his hair as I read as much as I could about the place I was going to.

A little later, I asked if I could speak to Faramir while he rested. It’s gonna take some getting used to, seeing a grey-eyed Dave, and knowing I’m talking to Faramir.

We talked about Theodred. Faramir was concerned at how disorientated and weak he was, and that although he could remember his name, who Faramir was, and the Golden Hall, he had no other memory of his life. I said I would stay in Rohan until Theodred’s memories returned, then we could shift back. Maybe by that time, I would hopefully have met up with someone who could help him, get him back to Edoras or some other place of safety, let him finish healing.

I dug out all the Rings books Dave had on his shelves, and we went through them together looking for maps, and coming up with a rough approximation of where Theodred was, given what little I could remember, and the fact he couldn’t be too far from the Ford. And we both agreed that I needed to stay put for a couple of days, try and find food and let his body regain a little strength and begin to heal. Faramir promised to show me the athelas that grew around the bowl, so I could recognise it when I got there, and hope there was some growing in the gully. Then, I would head east, towards the Isen; follow it back to the Ford and on towards Helm’s Deep. And we both knew it wasn’t gonna be that simple. Injured, progress would be slow, and I would have to take every precaution not to be discovered by Saruman’s forces as I had nothing to protect myself with.

Before Faramir shifted out, I asked him for a favour. He nodded, his grey eyes solemn, and I watched as they brightened to blue. Dave smiled at me, pulling me to him for a lazy kiss and I let myself melt against him …

So now, hours later, he’s asleep in my arms as we lie in his bed, and I’m finding it hard to sleep because when I wake up I’ll be leaving.

And I don’t want to go.
rohanson: (Default)
Dave attempts to make brunch later that day, but gets distracted ...

Do you want a hand with anything?

NC-17 again!
rohanson: (Default)
The morning after Faramir finds Theodred in the woods, Paris wakes back in Dave's bed and finally they talk and um ...

Time for truth, time for answers ...

Eventually NC-17
rohanson: (Default)
Ah, Christ, that hurts!

Everything hurts.

Easing myself up a little, my body screams at me to be still, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I breathe through the pain. I take a look around, at the trees and the rocks and ... okay, so this isn't Craig's garden.

Then it comes flooding back; the bird bath, the walking tree, slamming into Theodred, the orcs, and being thrown down ... down here. Wherever here is.

Sighing, I’m beginning to wish I was a fan of the books, maybe then I would have a clue as to where I am, because I know without a doubt I’m somewhere in Middle Earth. I knew Theodred died at the Ford of Isen, but felt like if I had wanted to know more, I would just be buying into this possible delusion. Only now I know it’s real, I’m sort of wishing I’d read more.

I manage to sit up a little more, and ease closer to the tree behind me so I can rest against it. Resting for a while, one thing strikes me. I smell really bad. There’s a smell of wet horse which I can live with, but there’s an overwhelming stench of what I’m assuming is orc. I smell like the bastards that did this to him. I desperately want a shower, want to wash away the smell, and slip into clean clothes. Or maybe into a nice hospital gown, given the way my body’s feeling.

I take it slow, finding out what’s wrong with him ... me, it hurts so much when I move. Bruises and lacerations cover my whole body, partly from the fall, but I know a lot of them came from the fight at the Ford. I’m sorta glad I don’t have a mirror on me, cause I’ve got an idea my face isn’t exactly gonna be pretty. Right arm is broken in two places, and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a handful of broken ribs, and no way to know if they punctured anything vital. A couple of serious cuts, one showing through a matching tear in the arm of the tunic I’m wearing and a deeper one slicing down my calf. I’m a mess, and I have no idea where to go for help.

It takes a while to make my way to the stream that I can hear running down the middle of the gully, but it’s worth it, the water tastes so good, and after I’ve drunk my fill, I use it to wash away some of the smell and clean the wounds I can reach, paying particular attention to the deeper cuts. As I’m trying to tear off the arms of the tunic I’m wearing to help bind the wound on my leg, it occurs to me that I’m not wearing any armour, and Theodred wasn’t when I dreamt of the Ford. When my dream started, he was the only one left standing, and I shudder to think they had stripped him of it and were trying to kill him for sport. The sleeves come away easily, almost ripped through already, and it hurts like hell using my injured arm to help tie up my leg, but finally it’s done, and I can drag myself off to lie in the shade.

I need to rest a while, then try and figure out where the hell I go from here. I rest my head back against the tree. I think if I hadn’t met Faramir, I would have freaked out hours ago, but knowing he exists makes this easier to handle. But how do I get home? And even if I can get back, is Wellington really my home? I’m feeling drowsy, and let myself drift into a doze. ‘s funny, when I think of home, all I can see is a pair of blue eyes ...
rohanson: (Default)
Taking it easy on the way back to Dave's, I'm hoping he's there when I get back. If Faramir is right, and he can give me answers, help me understand what's happening ... as I pull into the street, the world flips over, and for a second, I'm dreaming, I’m back at the ford, being dragged into the trees, then I'm back, bike swerving against the curb, and I just catch it in time. This is happening too fast, and I'm beginning to feel trapped. I can't stay on the bike if I keep blacking out. As I slip the side stand down, I realise I'm outside of Craig's place. I know there's a path through from Craig and Hugo's gardens into the woods that Faramir uses, it'll be quicker that way than on the road, can come back and get Leelu later ... the walk will clear my head, don’t think it'll stop the shaking though ...

I stumble a couple of times as I make my way over Craig's lawn towards the woods and just hope no-one's home to watch my erratic progress. Reaching a shaded area, my stomach cramps, and I double over, clutching my stomach, reaching out to grab whatever support I can find to stop myself hitting the ground. When I can see straight again, I realise I'm clinging onto a bird bath on a pedestal and ... holy crap! That tree just moved! That tree just ... walked three feet to the left ... and now it's coming towards me! My fingers grasp the edge of the bowl way to tight, and my eyes, which I feel should be riveted on the approaching tree, are slowly drawn downwards, and I'm staring through clear water at the stone of the bowl. But the stone itself ... it's moving, like liquid, stirring, shifting ... I'm in the middle of a waking dream, the quiet garden overlapping with the grunting of orcs, and I can see through Theodred's eyes, but I'm wide awake ... a strange sensation starts at the back of my neck, moves through me, and with a jolt, I'm pulled out of myself, and slammed into him.

I can feel hands on my arms, and there's a stench that makes me gag. I can't lift my head to see where I am as I sag between them, and hear an unintelligible grunt as they drag me forward ... then I'm being thrown over a ledge, and my body crumples as I hit something large and solid and ...
rohanson: (Default)
The cab drops me off outside John and Sam's place and walking up the drive, I see Leelu is still tucked away behind the trees. I need to see Sam, tell her I've gotta go to Auckland, or something. I can't be around her like this. I left Faramir at Dave's place, promised him I would be back as soon as I could. He's right. I need to talk to Dave. But if I don't get the answers I need, I'm out of here. I'm still shaking, I'm cold, and feel like I'm about to throw up.

Pulling my jumper around me, I knock on the door.

Sam: My heart races when I hear the cab pull up outside, and I peek through the curtains. Yes, it's Paris! I take a quick look in the mirror, bite my lips together and pinch my cheeks just a bit for some colour, and race to the door. I know I probably shouldn't be this eager, but after the last two days I'm pretty sure he knows I like him. In fact, after what we did, I'm pretty sure my feelings for him are a lot stronger than that. And I just know he feels the same. He's just been so wonderful! I think this is the beginning of a really wonderful relationship. I open the door and smile as I see him standing there. "Hi!" I raise my face to kiss him, and am surprised to feel him shaking. As I draw him in to the house I ask, "Paris, what is it? What's wrong?”

Paris: Sam opens the door, and she's so happy to see me, it almost hurts. "I ... uh ... I'm leaving, Sam." I smile sadly at her. "I've gotta go to Auckland, and I won't be coming back. I'm sorry." I feel like such a bastard as the words come out, I can hardly look her in the eye.

Sam: I'd never understood why people say they were hit by a ton of bricks before. But that's exactly what it feels like when Paris speaks. I can feel the sharp edges of each block, feel their crushing weight, feel the crumbling clay falling like heavy dust. For a few moments I can't breathe for the weight and dust on my chest, I can only stare, open mouthed. Finally I'm able to stutter out stumbling words: "Why ...? What ...? Don't understand ....?

Paris: I hang my head, hating to see the hurt and confusion in her eyes. "We had a wonderful time together, and I'll never forget it, but we can't see each other any more. I'm sorry, Sam, but this ... us ... can't be. You deserve someone who can always be here for you, and that's not me." I feel like hell, and know that if things were different, I could have loved her, but I can't dwell on that, I need to go, get my jacket, get on the bike and go.

Sam: You turn to go, and I can't do anything to stop you. I watch as you go over to your motorcycle, knowing that I'm seeing you for the last time. I'm also seeing the days we had together - that perfect day in the mountain, and the next day when I thought everything was going so well. All the questions in my head are silent. I know later I'll replay every minute, try to figure out exactly what I did wrong, what sent you away. But now, I can't do anything but stare at your back as you get on your motorcycle and ride away without a second glance back.
rohanson: (Default)
After finally dragging ourselves out of the shower, we head into Wellie. I’ve left the bike at John’s so I can have a drink later, and after a couple of hours of pleasant aimless wandering, we end up in the park.

Sam smiles at me as she walks away, that shy, smile she has now that’s all mine, that lets me know she’s thinking of last night. I smile back, and she flounces off in search of ice-cream. Lying back on the grass, I’m thinking this is the most relaxed I’ve been since I hit town, and that really makes me wonder. I roll onto my stomach, and play with a piece of grass. I hadn’t intended to fall asleep last night, was gonna stay awake, didn’t want to risk hurting Sam, but the dream I had? Wasn’t nearly as intense as the others lately. It was manageable, and I’ve had to admit to myself that maybe there’s an external force intensifying my nightmares.

Since moving in with Dave, they’ve been escalating faster than they ever have before. Dave .... how could he be affecting me? I snort at the thought. Affecting me? Being close to him is like putting my hand into fire, and God, I wanna let myself burn.

When I think of his touch on my skin, I get this heat in the pit of my stomach, and the thought of his fingers tangled with mine … why that? Why does that image have the power to make me wanna groan out loud lying here in the middle of the park? I look down at my hands, now full of shredded grass, and remember them covered in blood. I can’t take the chance that one kind of intensity won’t lead to another. I can’t take the chance of hurting him, just so I can be with him.

I look up and see Sam at the ice-cream stall, flirting with the vendor, she looks so happy, and I’m suddenly feeling guilty. I swear she’s not second best, not a substitute for something I can’t have. She’s different. Warm and soft and open and honest, and I need that right now, need her, but that doesn’t stop me craving someone else. And if I was brutally honest, if things were “normal”, who would I be with right at this moment? Gah! I can’t go there! Not with her smiling at me as she makes her way back to me, but I should have told her I’d be taking off next week before we … well, before last night. I’m coming back; I’ll tell her that, too … least I hope I’m coming back. And maybe I’ll be alone. I’d always thought that would make me happy, to be rid of him, his troubled thoughts and dreams, but I don’t want to lose him like that, I don’t want to watch him die.

She hands me my ice-cream, smiling, and we sit close together on my jacket, talking about where to eat later, which movies we want to see. And I don’t tell her I’m leaving, because that would make the smile slip from her face, and just for this one more day, I need to feel her happiness. I’ll tell her tomorrow …

One trip to Uncle Changs for amongst other things the best pot-stickers I’ve ever tasted, one visit to the movies to see Troy, glad Sam chose that over Van Helsing for one particular reason, and a final stop at the Firkin later, where I introduced her to Gareth, who flirted mercilessly with her, even though we all know she’s not his type, our cab pulled up outside John’s place, and I walked her to the door. The lights were on, and I guessed John was waiting up for her, so we lingered over a kiss, and she smiled when I said I would be over in the morning for the bike, saying she would make sure there was coffee on.

I wandered down the drive, giving Leelu an affectionate pat on the way past, and jumped back in the waiting cab.
rohanson: (Default)
Paris: Mornings are cold in the mountains this time of year, so we both felt better after bundling ourselves back into our clothes, and heading off to a nearby greasy café for a really good, but really bad for you breakfast. When we're walking towards the door, our hands brush and touch and hold, and we glance at each other, smiling over secrets, words somehow unnecessary.

After breakfast, we take a drive back to Wellie. I’m getting used to the feel of Sam pressed against my back, she fits just right. I park the bike up just inside the gates and don't mind admitting I'm pleased John's not home. The damn carbs have been playing up again, and I really need to strip them, so Sam takes off to have a shower and get changed, while I get to work.

Jay: I know I should be at the hospital by now. I know I promised Dad I'd be by to see him. But after waking up alone on his couch again, this time feeling like someone was takin' a fucking jackhammer to my skull, I knew that was in no shape to face him. Even given the shape the old man's in, I don't want him to see me like this.

Bullshit. I know I'm fucking stalling, driving around town in circles, pretending to be lost. I know I'm too much of a damn coward to see him again like that so soon, to spend another day searching his glazed, hollow eyes for any sign of life.

So instead of taking a left, I take a right, towards the beach. It's been a long time since I've smelled pure salt air, and I figure it'll do some good to clear my pounding head. The road takes me by rows of neat little pastel houses with sea-shell wind chimes hanging from the porches and boats in their driveways. It's so quaint and fucking charming it makes my head hurt even more. How can people live like this?

But then I see it, standing out like a bright, red stoplight, sharp and shining among the pale cottages )
rohanson: (Default)
Sam: Everything about today has been perfect. The ride up the mountain was more exciting than any roller coaster. At first I thought I'd be afraid, we were going so fast around those steep curves, but as we rode I let myself meld with you. I was like a blade of grass, with nothing to fear from the wind. Your body led me through every curve, and soon I could anticipate your lean from the subtle tightening of your thighs against my legs. As we reached the campground I felt like I already knew you more intimately than I have some of my (admittedly few) lovers. I was glad we hadn't gotten off the bike yet, because there was no way I could hide my blush at that thought.

We had our pick of campsites ... )

NC-17 Het Alert!!
rohanson: (Default)
If you trust me ...
rohanson: (Default)
I've pushed myself this morning, I ache already, and it's only lunchtime. A sigh escapes me as I sit down on the steps, grabbing the bottle of water I'd left in the shade and drinking half of it down in one go as I stare out over the trees.

So Faramir lives in Wellington and knows Dave ... and some of his friends. Faramir, the fictional character from Lord of the Rings, lives in Wellington near the library. The laughter that bubbles up inside me borders on the hysterical.

The only thing I'm clear on right now is that he's real. The things he said about his life, the way he spoke of ... Theodred. May as well start calling him by his name too. The grief he felt over the loss of his friend, his friend who is, for the moment, still alive and well, and filling my sleep with nightmares, was real.

It had occurred to me to ask Dave about him. Well, actually, it had occurred to me to yell "What the fuck is Faramir doing in Wellington??" at Dave, but if he won't open up to me about whatever else is going on around here, that would probably send him into hiding. Maybe that's what happened to Hugo; maybe he just got sick of someone asking questions and took off.

I lay my hands across my knees, and rest my head on them, just for a moment, I tell myself. )
rohanson: (Default)
I let out a sigh as my Tai Chi routine ends. There had been no nightmare last night, no violence or bloodshed, just the depression and despair of a son watching his father deteriorate, draw away from him. I ... he is certain that the powers of darkness are involved, yet his reasoning falls on deaf ears. Yesterday's good mood evaporated with first light this morning, and I'd pulled myself out of bed with a heavy heart. It felt like it was my father, who I know is fine. I hate it when the lines blur like this.

I pick up one of the two bokkans I bought yesterday. Need to try them both, see which one has the right balance for me. I start the eight point kata again, wishing there was someone I could practice with. The katas are good for focus and fitness, but nothing beats the unpredictability of a sparring partner.

North ... east ... south ...

I slowly get the feeling that someone is watching me. It's probably someone out for an early morning walk, so I continue to move, staying alert.

Faramir:: I return from a patrol of these woods, content for the moment that all is well. I had ventured as far as the limits of Craig and Hugo's back yards this time, needing to at least glimpse the portal to see if all was quiet there. I hear the sounds of leaves beneath feet up ahead, and I approach as quietly as possible, stepping behind a tree to watch the man going through a morning exercise. It is the one that is helping Dave with the house, I recognize his face as the one I slip past sometimes as he sleeps. I also know that face from elsewhere, from my younger days during trips to Rohan, insufferable gatherings of dignitaries punctuated by the freedom of slipping loose on the horses, riding till the dust of politics blew from our hair. This one must be protected, I feel that strongly.

I try to lose myself in the rhythm of the kata ... )
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