Paris and Dave: Cabin Fever Part One

Dave: It’s six in the morning, hours before I’m used to getting up, but I didn’t sleep much last night anyway so I might as well get an early start. I’ve got a couple or three hours drive time ahead of me. I pack the car with some blankets and a case of beer, adding a few good bottles of wine as an afterthought. I debate putting Ise in a carrier for the trip, but decide she’d be nicer company riding in the passenger seat, and she’s been pretty easy to train so far. I’d like her to learn to enjoy riding in the car, too.

After a stop for some take out Chinese, which I pack into a cooler in the trunk, we’re off. The drive is a peaceful one, much more so than the last long drive I had coming home the other day. We stop along the road a few times for Ise to do her duty and for me to stretch my legs. I try my best to keep from letting myself get worked up about this visit. It’s a perfect fall day, and I tell myself that’s a very good thing. If Paris needs time alone in a cabin, at least he’ll have good surroundings, maybe it will help him find some peace.

Peace that I took away from him. He loves me, and he can’t be near me. He loved me when I was lying to him. Was he right? Would I still have lied to him if I’d known? I probably would have, wouldn’t I? I can’t help it, I start dwelling on the whole mess and soon I’m shaking so badly I have to pull off to the shoulder. I get out of the car and just pace, holding Ise’s leash tightly.

When did I become this person? I barely recognize myself anymore. How could Paris fall in love with this Dave? How could the lying, conniving, selfish man that wants everything except what’s mine to have, how could that man have fallen in love with him?

I want him to take me back, and I want him to run from me. I want him all to myself, and I want what’s best for him. I can’t have everything both ways, can I? I’m learning that so many ways, in so many harsh lessons.

The directions tell me that this is the last turn, and to drive two miles east. Two more miles, and way too late to turn around, Dave.

( Paris: I woke around nine ... )

Paris and Dave: Cabin Fever Part Two

I hear you walk up behind me, and resist the urge to turn and touch you. The time’s not right yet, and a thought flashes through my mind. Maybe the time will never be right, but I have to try, can’t walk away unless I know for certain that this won’t work.

“I did want some time, and last night helped a lot, but as you’re here now, you may as well stay. We do need to talk, about us, and maybe it’s better sooner rather than later.” Ise bounds through the door, and I slide the glass closed as she throws herself onto the couch in front of the stove. I grab the Jack and the glasses, and join her, pouring out another two shots. A couple of minutes later, you sit down, Ise sprawled out between us, taking up most of the room, and I take a deep breath, and get straight to the point.

( You say you love me ... )