Guess it's goodbye ...
Jun. 17th, 2004 01:49 pmThe cab drops me off outside John and Sam's place and walking up the drive, I see Leelu is still tucked away behind the trees. I need to see Sam, tell her I've gotta go to Auckland, or something. I can't be around her like this. I left Faramir at Dave's place, promised him I would be back as soon as I could. He's right. I need to talk to Dave. But if I don't get the answers I need, I'm out of here. I'm still shaking, I'm cold, and feel like I'm about to throw up.
Pulling my jumper around me, I knock on the door.
Sam: My heart races when I hear the cab pull up outside, and I peek through the curtains. Yes, it's Paris! I take a quick look in the mirror, bite my lips together and pinch my cheeks just a bit for some colour, and race to the door. I know I probably shouldn't be this eager, but after the last two days I'm pretty sure he knows I like him. In fact, after what we did, I'm pretty sure my feelings for him are a lot stronger than that. And I just know he feels the same. He's just been so wonderful! I think this is the beginning of a really wonderful relationship. I open the door and smile as I see him standing there. "Hi!" I raise my face to kiss him, and am surprised to feel him shaking. As I draw him in to the house I ask, "Paris, what is it? What's wrong?”
Paris: Sam opens the door, and she's so happy to see me, it almost hurts. "I ... uh ... I'm leaving, Sam." I smile sadly at her. "I've gotta go to Auckland, and I won't be coming back. I'm sorry." I feel like such a bastard as the words come out, I can hardly look her in the eye.
Sam: I'd never understood why people say they were hit by a ton of bricks before. But that's exactly what it feels like when Paris speaks. I can feel the sharp edges of each block, feel their crushing weight, feel the crumbling clay falling like heavy dust. For a few moments I can't breathe for the weight and dust on my chest, I can only stare, open mouthed. Finally I'm able to stutter out stumbling words: "Why ...? What ...? Don't understand ....?
Paris: I hang my head, hating to see the hurt and confusion in her eyes. "We had a wonderful time together, and I'll never forget it, but we can't see each other any more. I'm sorry, Sam, but this ... us ... can't be. You deserve someone who can always be here for you, and that's not me." I feel like hell, and know that if things were different, I could have loved her, but I can't dwell on that, I need to go, get my jacket, get on the bike and go.
Sam: You turn to go, and I can't do anything to stop you. I watch as you go over to your motorcycle, knowing that I'm seeing you for the last time. I'm also seeing the days we had together - that perfect day in the mountain, and the next day when I thought everything was going so well. All the questions in my head are silent. I know later I'll replay every minute, try to figure out exactly what I did wrong, what sent you away. But now, I can't do anything but stare at your back as you get on your motorcycle and ride away without a second glance back.
Pulling my jumper around me, I knock on the door.
Sam: My heart races when I hear the cab pull up outside, and I peek through the curtains. Yes, it's Paris! I take a quick look in the mirror, bite my lips together and pinch my cheeks just a bit for some colour, and race to the door. I know I probably shouldn't be this eager, but after the last two days I'm pretty sure he knows I like him. In fact, after what we did, I'm pretty sure my feelings for him are a lot stronger than that. And I just know he feels the same. He's just been so wonderful! I think this is the beginning of a really wonderful relationship. I open the door and smile as I see him standing there. "Hi!" I raise my face to kiss him, and am surprised to feel him shaking. As I draw him in to the house I ask, "Paris, what is it? What's wrong?”
Paris: Sam opens the door, and she's so happy to see me, it almost hurts. "I ... uh ... I'm leaving, Sam." I smile sadly at her. "I've gotta go to Auckland, and I won't be coming back. I'm sorry." I feel like such a bastard as the words come out, I can hardly look her in the eye.
Sam: I'd never understood why people say they were hit by a ton of bricks before. But that's exactly what it feels like when Paris speaks. I can feel the sharp edges of each block, feel their crushing weight, feel the crumbling clay falling like heavy dust. For a few moments I can't breathe for the weight and dust on my chest, I can only stare, open mouthed. Finally I'm able to stutter out stumbling words: "Why ...? What ...? Don't understand ....?
Paris: I hang my head, hating to see the hurt and confusion in her eyes. "We had a wonderful time together, and I'll never forget it, but we can't see each other any more. I'm sorry, Sam, but this ... us ... can't be. You deserve someone who can always be here for you, and that's not me." I feel like hell, and know that if things were different, I could have loved her, but I can't dwell on that, I need to go, get my jacket, get on the bike and go.
Sam: You turn to go, and I can't do anything to stop you. I watch as you go over to your motorcycle, knowing that I'm seeing you for the last time. I'm also seeing the days we had together - that perfect day in the mountain, and the next day when I thought everything was going so well. All the questions in my head are silent. I know later I'll replay every minute, try to figure out exactly what I did wrong, what sent you away. But now, I can't do anything but stare at your back as you get on your motorcycle and ride away without a second glance back.