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Paris and Dave: An Unconventional Conversation
Paris: Business over for the day, I grab a shower at the warehouse before heading out to the cabin, looking forward to seeing Dave but I'm surprised to see Faramir relaxing on the porch. Pulling off my helmet, I walk to the steps to join him wondering why he's still here. Not that I don't like his company, but I had expected Dave to be back by now.
"Hey Faramir. Where's Dave? Everything okay?" Course its okay, he wouldn't look this happy if there was anything wrong, and he does look very happy … "Or do you wanna play that decider game after all?"
Faramir: Perfect. It must be that this plan was truly meant to happen today, as you've given me the perfect opening to lure you to the clearing. "Dave is fine. But I thought perhaps a tie-breaker was indeed in order. Would you be willing to change the game, though? I thought perhaps a round of sparring, in the woods. Unless you think I would win too easily, that is." I give you what I hope is a subtle, yet taunting look.
Paris: "A tie breaker?" I get the feeling that there's something more to this, but your challenge is genuine enough, and I'm not gonna turn it down. "Okay, you're on. You grab the bokkans while I get out of these clothes." I dump my helmet down in the table, shuck off my jacket and take the stairs to the sleeping platform two at a time. Dave bought an extra chest of drawers so I could keep half of my stuff here. It may look like an unusual arrangement, still living at both places, but it works for us. It would be hard to give up the warehouse now, and it's got space for my workshop. It just feels right, but I couldn't ask Dave to give up the cabin, and I wouldn't want him too. I love mornings spent sitting out on the porch looking down over the trees. The peace and quiet, and the hot tub, of course. This way we have the best of both worlds, and both places do truly feel like home now.
I rummage round in the drawers looking for my old sweats. Those leather pants may have been a bargain, but neither them not the new black shirt I’m wearing would be my first choice for training. You're waiting for me by the back door and I flash you a grin. "C'mon, Ranger, time to get your ass whupped!"
Faramir: What is that saying I've heard in this world? Ah, yes. The best laid plans of mice and men. While I went searching for your bokkans, you managed to transform yourself from an extremely dashing looking man into a happy, sloppy guy with intent for friendly revenge. Then again, I'm still clad in blue jeans and a t-shirt. So, Dave will be faced with his own challenge to turn this outing into something special. Another saying springs to mind. Where there is a will, there is a way. These two have managed to overcome many hardships to reach this place in each others lives. I believe they will survive a clothing crises.
Having rationalized out the situation to the best of my ability, I return your grin and show off the weapons I hold. "In order to 'whup my ass', you'll need one of these, my friend. And I hold them both." I turn with a laugh, still holding the bokkans, and lope off into the woods.
Paris: Rolling my eyes, I follow you, and it's not until we arrive that I realise you've brought me to the clearing we met in, first sparred in. This place holds other memories too, not so good ones, pushed away and forgotten about as Dave and I moved past them and into something so much better. Weird, coming back here, and I realise I must have been sub-consciously avoiding the place. When I train now, I always head down to the paddock, or even down to the beach, not here.
You glance at me and smile, and I remember you were part of it too, that afternoon … I don't know how to share him, Faramir … What the hell am I to him?? … you've been a good friend when I needed someone to talk to, and I hope you know how much I appreciate that.
Other memories creep back, uncomfortable ones, but not sharp and stinging as they were once … you looked into my eyes and fucking lied to me!! … but I love you. Heart and soul, body and mind and I don't think I can be with someone if that isn't enough for them … if you'd known, would that have stopped you? Would a couple of words really have made a difference? Because I don't think it would have …
No, not sharp, not any more. Something so much better rose from the ashes of those early days, and the hurt, the anger has faded, leaving behind a melancholy that hangs in the air in this place. Maybe it's time to lay the memories to rest once and for all, banish them to the past, where they belong.
"Hey, Faramir! You gonna throw me on of those, or have you changed your mind?" I tease, grinning at you and holding my hand out ready to take the bokkan when it's offered. "Maybe you're not so sure of that easy victory after all."
Faramir: For a time, you seem lost in thought, but then you relax and give me an easy smile, holding out your hand. I step closer, and to your surprise I set the bokkans against a tree trunk, then reach out to take your hand in mine. "I concede the victory to you. I confess I did not lure you here to spar. I will be taking my leave, but before I do, I wish to say that you are a fine man and a good friend. I wish for you every happiness this world or any other might afford you. And I am not the only one to wish this for you..." I smile warmly, and summon Dave. "I apologize for the lack of proper dress for the occasion. He looked quite handsome earlier, in his leather pants. Good luck, Dave. He loves you, just speak your heart."
Paris: "Concede? Faramir, what the …" Your hand is warm in mine, and I'm listening to what you're saying, but … okay, now I'm officially baffled. "Er, thanks … ?" And then you're gone, and Dave is standing in your place.
Dave: Leather pants? I blink, and find myself staring at a confused looking Paris. His hair's tousled and he's wearing sweatpants. Then again, I'm in frayed jeans and a t-shirt. But the setting... this is where I've wanted to do this, this is where the ghosts of the past need to be chased away. "Hi. Faramir's gone now, it's just you and me." I sound like a nervous kid. I see the bokkans leaning on the tree, and start to realize just how Faramir coaxed you out here. I haven't stood in this place with you in so long, and I'm having a hard time keeping the old memories from rushing back to the surface. Time to lay them to rest. "Could we sit? Talk a little?" This is surreal. I'm never this nervous around you of all people!
Paris: "Sit? Talk? Yeah … okay." This sounds serious, and I can feel how nervous you are, and for a split second, the memories threaten to swamp me, but Faramir … what he said … he sounded so happy, so I'm thinking we're not out here so you can dump me, nah that doesn't fit anyway. Why go through the ordeal of meeting the family if you were just gonna … and I would have felt it if there was anything major wrong, and it's not a bad kind of nervousness, so I dismiss that idea right away …
We sit down on Faramir's log, and my mind is still working overtime. Birthday? No. Anniversary of anything? That one takes a little more thought, but no, fairly sure it's not. "Dave?" I look at you with big eyes. "What's going on, babe?"
Dave: God, those eyes could melt a brick wall, I swear. I've spent way too many hours trying to come up with clever words, but there's really no elegant way to tell you my intent without it sounding fluffy and trite. I run my fingers across your leg, feeling the soft material bunching up under my fingers, and just let myself start to talk, trying not to analyze the words too much. "We've built a pretty amazing life together, Paris. I never meant it to be so unconventional, but that's who we are, isn't it? We live in a cabin and a condo. We've got shifts to cope with and a pile of odd pets. Then there's your new business, and my career..." I shake my head, smiling. How'd we end up so damned eccentric? "I could go on. A vegetarian and a carnivore blissfully sharing breakfasts in the morning, a creaky old man finally meeting his match in a young buck like you..." It should all sound crazy, but it doesn't. It just sounds like our life. I stop talking a minute, and wait to see if I'm making any kind of sense to you so far.
Paris: A still puzzled smile slowly lights my face as you talk, and I nod slowly. "Yeah, we have made an amazing life together …" Reaching out, I run my hand down your face, wanting to meet honesty with honesty. "And I've never been happier than I am here with you." My hand drops to yours, still moving on my leg, and I twine my fingers with yours. "And never more curious than I am right this minute!" I give your fingers a squeeze and smile softly. "Have I forgotten something important? Or …" My eyes widen as I really take in what you've been saying, adding it up with Faramir's behaviour, and I sit back, staring at you, not quite ready to draw conclusions until I hear the rest of what you have to say. "Dave …?"
Dave: Damn it. I wish I had the words. But there's no cliche phrase for what I want to say. "I'd ask you to marry me in a heartbeat, but I want to give you more than that." I gulp, and realize what I've just blurted out.
"I mean it. If I married you, it would add all sorts of challenges you don't need in your life." I pull your hand up to press to my face, and just lean into our twined fingers while I collect my thoughts. "It's why I rambled on about how unique our life together is. Paris, some couples just don't fit the mold. If you married me..." and I can't help myself, I pause, and blush like mad at the words I've said. As much as I'm not asking you to do this, in my own way, I am. "If you married me, you'd take on so much uncalled for baggage. I know I'm just Dave to you, but there's the celebrity side of who I am, and the world sees that. I want you to be appreciated for who you are. For the talent you give to your business. For all those amazing bits of yourself that I'm still discovering, and the world won't have the good sense to appreciate if you're seen as just another partner of a movie star." I swallow back a combination of tears, frustration, pride and love. "You're so much more than what the public would make you out to be."
Paris: The words tumble out, and suddenly I feel like I'm in freefall. I'd ask you to marry me … Marry you? The rest of the words come out in such a rush it takes a while for me to process them. So … not marry you then, and I can understand your reasoning, and it's not a problem, especially considering that until now, it hadn't even crossed my mind that you would ever think of doing … or not doing that.
"Hey, it's okay, babe." Smiling softly at the sight of tears in your eyes, my thumb caresses your cheekbone. "I love you, and I'm totally fine about not getting married. I told you a long time ago that I wasn't going anywhere, and I mean it. It's enough to know how we feel about each other, don't need a ring or a piece of paper to remind me I love you, heart and soul, body and mind." And something that was said in anger so many months ago comes out unintentionally, those same words said with affection and warmth, sounding for all the world like a vow. And it's one I gladly make, to you.
Dave: "And I love you, heart and soul, body and mind." It feels right to echo your words back to you. I'm calming out now that I've gotten past the tumble of words, and can see understanding in your eyes. I shift a little on the log we're sitting on, and hear an odd clink from beneath us. But my eyes never leave your face, I'm too focused on you right now. And I need a kiss. You don't hesitate to meet me halfway, and I lose myself with you in a long, slow kiss.
Eventually, we somehow remember there's a world outside ourselves, and I remember there was something else I wanted to tell you. I lean back, the aftereffect of that kiss leaving a lingering smile on my face, and reach into the back pocket of my jeans. The paper's a bit rumpled from sitting on it, but it's a photocopy I had made. My lawyer has the original tucked away, safe and sound. "You say you don't need a ring or a piece of paper, but you get to have them anyway." I stroke my hand down your chest, tickling that metal you wear beneath your shirt, and give you a wink. "I think we've taken care of the ring. Now, as for the paper..." I smooth out the sheet, and place it in your hands. "You say it's enough to know how we feel. And I love you for that. But I meant what I said. I'd marry you if circumstances were different. I want to grow old with you. I want your life to be a good one, and I'm thinking long-term on that. Ah, by the way, your mom approves of this arrangement too, so there's no use arguing about it." I nudge the paper in your hands again, needing you to look at it.
Paris: "My mom?" I roll my eyes, laughing. "So you're ganging up on me now, are you?" Then I start to take in what's typed on the sheet of paper. A summary? Of what? A breath leaves my body in a hurry as I continue to read, my eyes flicking between the page and your smiling face. Assets … my assets … I'm co-owner of the cabin, of Laurelea, even the car, beneficiary on all your insurance policies, you've given me power of attorney … power of attorney if you become incapacitated. I'm not up on all this legal stuff, but even I know that means I'm now effectively your next-of-kin. And sole beneficiary of your will, the thought of what that means making me bite my lip. "I have a stock portfolio?" And now my mouth is hanging open at the balances, which aren't small. "And a … a trust account?"
"Dave, I …" I swallow the lump in my throat at the thought of what you've done for me, more than anyone's ever done for me. Tears well in my eyes. I'm totally overwhelmed by it all, but your eyes as so full of love, strong and steady despite your nerves, that I don't think I've ever been happier, and it has nothing to do with the money, and everything to do with the thoughts and feelings behind it. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you more than I think I can ever put into words, but this is so much. I haven't got anything to give you, not like this, I … "
Dave: I shake my head, now more determined, the nervousness having passed by as I watched your face when you learned about my arrangements. "It's nothing, Paris. Okay, not nothing, but it what any married couple would take for granted. What's mine is yours. That's all it is. The sentiment is all there. I love you to the end of your life, and if that's beyond my own, this is what couples do. They take care of each other as best they can."
How can you even think you've got nothing to give me? When you found me, I was adrift, living in a dusty, falling apart cabin that a friend had given me in a desperate attempt to help me find a life, any life. I was still holding onto the shreds of love that had crumbled in my hand when Craig fled New Zealand, I was lonely as hell and ready to cling to anyone who could ease those aches. And that's when you showed up. It took a lot of heartache and pain for the both of us before we found our balance... but as my life found it's level again, one constant stayed in place, even when I foolishly rejected it. You. And in spite of how I treated you, somehow you found me again, and when you did, you held on and didn't let me go. I don't think I can ever express to you what that means to me. You took me back, after all I did to you. You forgave me. You still loved me. I'm still earning that honor.
"You've given me more than I could ever list out on a sheet of paper, Paris. What you are to me is way beyond a ledger sheet. Just stay with me. Be there when I wake up, and rest with me at the end of my day. Hold me when I'm sad and laugh with me when I'm not. Share me with your family, and let me take you home to mine. Be with me. That's what you have to give me, and it's worth more than the contents of every bank on earth combined."
Paris: "I'll be with you, whatever happens." A tear finally spills down my cheek, the emotion behind your words so real and true I almost forget to breathe. "There's no other place I want to be than with you." Smiling a little sheepishly, I begin to wipe the tears away but you pull me into your arms, and let me sniffle for a moment on your shoulder. My arms go round your waist to hold you closer, and the log shifts slightly, and there's a louder chinking sound than before. Reaching down into the hollow that Faramir and I used to use to pass messages, my fingers touch heavy, cold glass, and I drag out a bottle of champagne. The really good stuff, and I kiss you soundly. "You certainly know how to propose, or not, to a guy!" But wonder whether we should pop it here and drink it out of the bottle, or take it back to the cabin.
Dave: I don't mind the thank-you kiss, but I can't take the credit for the bubbly. I'm as surprised as you are! "Well, thank you, I guess that was a proposal, wasn't it? Of sorts? Our sort, at least!" I take the bottle from your hands and inspect the label. It's the bottle I bought a few days ago with this event in mind, all right. "I suspect a certain Gondorian stuffed this in the tree. He's been pretty excited about us taking this step, Paris. It's a little like having an in-law living in my brain. Or a mom. Something. He's going to be thrilled you said yes. You did say yes, didn't you?" I laugh, and twist the cork loose enough to explode from the bottle, and we watch it ping off a tree trunk and disappear in the underbrush. Maybe we'll find it again someday, and smile. "He didn't leave glasses, but I'm too happy to care. Here, you first." I hand you the foaming bottle, and lick bubbly off my fingers. "A couple of sips, and then we can finish it off back at the cabin, all right? I'd like to get us into some dressier clothes and take you out for a proper celebratory dinner. I've heard through the grapevine you've got some sexy new leather pants..."
Paris: "Faramir did this? I'll have to thank him next time I see him. Come to think of it, he was behaving a bit like a best man before you shifted back." I take the bottle from you, and swallow a mouthful of champagne, the bubbles fizzing nicely on the way down.
"Yes, I did say yes." I grin as you take a drink yourself. "Although which of us is the non-bride? You do look good in white …" I snicker and dodge away from you as we start back to the cabin, surprised you've heard about my new pants, but wait … "That would be the Gondorian grapevine?" I roll my eyes and laugh. "Yeah, he's definitely one of the family. So we're going out for dinner?" I grab you round the waist and pull you close, kissing you, tasting the wine on your lips. "Do we have to go out straight away?" My hands slip over your back. "Or do we have time to spare to erm … celebrate a little before we go?"
Dave: "Ah. So, you'd like your non-honeymoon before dinner?" To be honest, the combination of happiness, relief, a bit of champagne, and the shine in your eyes has me ready to postpone dinner a little while longer, too. "Let's stay in for a while." We nudge the door open, and deal with the inevitable Ise-pounce. Once she's settled out, I tug you towards the stairs. "I think having appetizers before dinner would be nice, and you definitely look tasty."
I set the champagne bottle on the nightstand, and pull you close. Everything between us is comfortably the same, but somehow changed forever. I can't explain it, couldn't describe it if I tried. I just know I feel it, and it's amazing. "I love you so much. Thank you for understanding what this was all about. I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to find someone who actually knows my mind so well... but I'm grateful. And I want to strip you so naked right now." I know my grin's evolved from happy to wicked, but I don't think you mind, since you're not stopping me from tugging off those old sweatpants you're wearing... oh, this is going to definitely be a day to remember, start to finish.
"Hey Faramir. Where's Dave? Everything okay?" Course its okay, he wouldn't look this happy if there was anything wrong, and he does look very happy … "Or do you wanna play that decider game after all?"
Faramir: Perfect. It must be that this plan was truly meant to happen today, as you've given me the perfect opening to lure you to the clearing. "Dave is fine. But I thought perhaps a tie-breaker was indeed in order. Would you be willing to change the game, though? I thought perhaps a round of sparring, in the woods. Unless you think I would win too easily, that is." I give you what I hope is a subtle, yet taunting look.
Paris: "A tie breaker?" I get the feeling that there's something more to this, but your challenge is genuine enough, and I'm not gonna turn it down. "Okay, you're on. You grab the bokkans while I get out of these clothes." I dump my helmet down in the table, shuck off my jacket and take the stairs to the sleeping platform two at a time. Dave bought an extra chest of drawers so I could keep half of my stuff here. It may look like an unusual arrangement, still living at both places, but it works for us. It would be hard to give up the warehouse now, and it's got space for my workshop. It just feels right, but I couldn't ask Dave to give up the cabin, and I wouldn't want him too. I love mornings spent sitting out on the porch looking down over the trees. The peace and quiet, and the hot tub, of course. This way we have the best of both worlds, and both places do truly feel like home now.
I rummage round in the drawers looking for my old sweats. Those leather pants may have been a bargain, but neither them not the new black shirt I’m wearing would be my first choice for training. You're waiting for me by the back door and I flash you a grin. "C'mon, Ranger, time to get your ass whupped!"
Faramir: What is that saying I've heard in this world? Ah, yes. The best laid plans of mice and men. While I went searching for your bokkans, you managed to transform yourself from an extremely dashing looking man into a happy, sloppy guy with intent for friendly revenge. Then again, I'm still clad in blue jeans and a t-shirt. So, Dave will be faced with his own challenge to turn this outing into something special. Another saying springs to mind. Where there is a will, there is a way. These two have managed to overcome many hardships to reach this place in each others lives. I believe they will survive a clothing crises.
Having rationalized out the situation to the best of my ability, I return your grin and show off the weapons I hold. "In order to 'whup my ass', you'll need one of these, my friend. And I hold them both." I turn with a laugh, still holding the bokkans, and lope off into the woods.
Paris: Rolling my eyes, I follow you, and it's not until we arrive that I realise you've brought me to the clearing we met in, first sparred in. This place holds other memories too, not so good ones, pushed away and forgotten about as Dave and I moved past them and into something so much better. Weird, coming back here, and I realise I must have been sub-consciously avoiding the place. When I train now, I always head down to the paddock, or even down to the beach, not here.
You glance at me and smile, and I remember you were part of it too, that afternoon … I don't know how to share him, Faramir … What the hell am I to him?? … you've been a good friend when I needed someone to talk to, and I hope you know how much I appreciate that.
Other memories creep back, uncomfortable ones, but not sharp and stinging as they were once … you looked into my eyes and fucking lied to me!! … but I love you. Heart and soul, body and mind and I don't think I can be with someone if that isn't enough for them … if you'd known, would that have stopped you? Would a couple of words really have made a difference? Because I don't think it would have …
No, not sharp, not any more. Something so much better rose from the ashes of those early days, and the hurt, the anger has faded, leaving behind a melancholy that hangs in the air in this place. Maybe it's time to lay the memories to rest once and for all, banish them to the past, where they belong.
"Hey, Faramir! You gonna throw me on of those, or have you changed your mind?" I tease, grinning at you and holding my hand out ready to take the bokkan when it's offered. "Maybe you're not so sure of that easy victory after all."
Faramir: For a time, you seem lost in thought, but then you relax and give me an easy smile, holding out your hand. I step closer, and to your surprise I set the bokkans against a tree trunk, then reach out to take your hand in mine. "I concede the victory to you. I confess I did not lure you here to spar. I will be taking my leave, but before I do, I wish to say that you are a fine man and a good friend. I wish for you every happiness this world or any other might afford you. And I am not the only one to wish this for you..." I smile warmly, and summon Dave. "I apologize for the lack of proper dress for the occasion. He looked quite handsome earlier, in his leather pants. Good luck, Dave. He loves you, just speak your heart."
Paris: "Concede? Faramir, what the …" Your hand is warm in mine, and I'm listening to what you're saying, but … okay, now I'm officially baffled. "Er, thanks … ?" And then you're gone, and Dave is standing in your place.
Dave: Leather pants? I blink, and find myself staring at a confused looking Paris. His hair's tousled and he's wearing sweatpants. Then again, I'm in frayed jeans and a t-shirt. But the setting... this is where I've wanted to do this, this is where the ghosts of the past need to be chased away. "Hi. Faramir's gone now, it's just you and me." I sound like a nervous kid. I see the bokkans leaning on the tree, and start to realize just how Faramir coaxed you out here. I haven't stood in this place with you in so long, and I'm having a hard time keeping the old memories from rushing back to the surface. Time to lay them to rest. "Could we sit? Talk a little?" This is surreal. I'm never this nervous around you of all people!
Paris: "Sit? Talk? Yeah … okay." This sounds serious, and I can feel how nervous you are, and for a split second, the memories threaten to swamp me, but Faramir … what he said … he sounded so happy, so I'm thinking we're not out here so you can dump me, nah that doesn't fit anyway. Why go through the ordeal of meeting the family if you were just gonna … and I would have felt it if there was anything major wrong, and it's not a bad kind of nervousness, so I dismiss that idea right away …
We sit down on Faramir's log, and my mind is still working overtime. Birthday? No. Anniversary of anything? That one takes a little more thought, but no, fairly sure it's not. "Dave?" I look at you with big eyes. "What's going on, babe?"
Dave: God, those eyes could melt a brick wall, I swear. I've spent way too many hours trying to come up with clever words, but there's really no elegant way to tell you my intent without it sounding fluffy and trite. I run my fingers across your leg, feeling the soft material bunching up under my fingers, and just let myself start to talk, trying not to analyze the words too much. "We've built a pretty amazing life together, Paris. I never meant it to be so unconventional, but that's who we are, isn't it? We live in a cabin and a condo. We've got shifts to cope with and a pile of odd pets. Then there's your new business, and my career..." I shake my head, smiling. How'd we end up so damned eccentric? "I could go on. A vegetarian and a carnivore blissfully sharing breakfasts in the morning, a creaky old man finally meeting his match in a young buck like you..." It should all sound crazy, but it doesn't. It just sounds like our life. I stop talking a minute, and wait to see if I'm making any kind of sense to you so far.
Paris: A still puzzled smile slowly lights my face as you talk, and I nod slowly. "Yeah, we have made an amazing life together …" Reaching out, I run my hand down your face, wanting to meet honesty with honesty. "And I've never been happier than I am here with you." My hand drops to yours, still moving on my leg, and I twine my fingers with yours. "And never more curious than I am right this minute!" I give your fingers a squeeze and smile softly. "Have I forgotten something important? Or …" My eyes widen as I really take in what you've been saying, adding it up with Faramir's behaviour, and I sit back, staring at you, not quite ready to draw conclusions until I hear the rest of what you have to say. "Dave …?"
Dave: Damn it. I wish I had the words. But there's no cliche phrase for what I want to say. "I'd ask you to marry me in a heartbeat, but I want to give you more than that." I gulp, and realize what I've just blurted out.
"I mean it. If I married you, it would add all sorts of challenges you don't need in your life." I pull your hand up to press to my face, and just lean into our twined fingers while I collect my thoughts. "It's why I rambled on about how unique our life together is. Paris, some couples just don't fit the mold. If you married me..." and I can't help myself, I pause, and blush like mad at the words I've said. As much as I'm not asking you to do this, in my own way, I am. "If you married me, you'd take on so much uncalled for baggage. I know I'm just Dave to you, but there's the celebrity side of who I am, and the world sees that. I want you to be appreciated for who you are. For the talent you give to your business. For all those amazing bits of yourself that I'm still discovering, and the world won't have the good sense to appreciate if you're seen as just another partner of a movie star." I swallow back a combination of tears, frustration, pride and love. "You're so much more than what the public would make you out to be."
Paris: The words tumble out, and suddenly I feel like I'm in freefall. I'd ask you to marry me … Marry you? The rest of the words come out in such a rush it takes a while for me to process them. So … not marry you then, and I can understand your reasoning, and it's not a problem, especially considering that until now, it hadn't even crossed my mind that you would ever think of doing … or not doing that.
"Hey, it's okay, babe." Smiling softly at the sight of tears in your eyes, my thumb caresses your cheekbone. "I love you, and I'm totally fine about not getting married. I told you a long time ago that I wasn't going anywhere, and I mean it. It's enough to know how we feel about each other, don't need a ring or a piece of paper to remind me I love you, heart and soul, body and mind." And something that was said in anger so many months ago comes out unintentionally, those same words said with affection and warmth, sounding for all the world like a vow. And it's one I gladly make, to you.
Dave: "And I love you, heart and soul, body and mind." It feels right to echo your words back to you. I'm calming out now that I've gotten past the tumble of words, and can see understanding in your eyes. I shift a little on the log we're sitting on, and hear an odd clink from beneath us. But my eyes never leave your face, I'm too focused on you right now. And I need a kiss. You don't hesitate to meet me halfway, and I lose myself with you in a long, slow kiss.
Eventually, we somehow remember there's a world outside ourselves, and I remember there was something else I wanted to tell you. I lean back, the aftereffect of that kiss leaving a lingering smile on my face, and reach into the back pocket of my jeans. The paper's a bit rumpled from sitting on it, but it's a photocopy I had made. My lawyer has the original tucked away, safe and sound. "You say you don't need a ring or a piece of paper, but you get to have them anyway." I stroke my hand down your chest, tickling that metal you wear beneath your shirt, and give you a wink. "I think we've taken care of the ring. Now, as for the paper..." I smooth out the sheet, and place it in your hands. "You say it's enough to know how we feel. And I love you for that. But I meant what I said. I'd marry you if circumstances were different. I want to grow old with you. I want your life to be a good one, and I'm thinking long-term on that. Ah, by the way, your mom approves of this arrangement too, so there's no use arguing about it." I nudge the paper in your hands again, needing you to look at it.
Paris: "My mom?" I roll my eyes, laughing. "So you're ganging up on me now, are you?" Then I start to take in what's typed on the sheet of paper. A summary? Of what? A breath leaves my body in a hurry as I continue to read, my eyes flicking between the page and your smiling face. Assets … my assets … I'm co-owner of the cabin, of Laurelea, even the car, beneficiary on all your insurance policies, you've given me power of attorney … power of attorney if you become incapacitated. I'm not up on all this legal stuff, but even I know that means I'm now effectively your next-of-kin. And sole beneficiary of your will, the thought of what that means making me bite my lip. "I have a stock portfolio?" And now my mouth is hanging open at the balances, which aren't small. "And a … a trust account?"
"Dave, I …" I swallow the lump in my throat at the thought of what you've done for me, more than anyone's ever done for me. Tears well in my eyes. I'm totally overwhelmed by it all, but your eyes as so full of love, strong and steady despite your nerves, that I don't think I've ever been happier, and it has nothing to do with the money, and everything to do with the thoughts and feelings behind it. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you more than I think I can ever put into words, but this is so much. I haven't got anything to give you, not like this, I … "
Dave: I shake my head, now more determined, the nervousness having passed by as I watched your face when you learned about my arrangements. "It's nothing, Paris. Okay, not nothing, but it what any married couple would take for granted. What's mine is yours. That's all it is. The sentiment is all there. I love you to the end of your life, and if that's beyond my own, this is what couples do. They take care of each other as best they can."
How can you even think you've got nothing to give me? When you found me, I was adrift, living in a dusty, falling apart cabin that a friend had given me in a desperate attempt to help me find a life, any life. I was still holding onto the shreds of love that had crumbled in my hand when Craig fled New Zealand, I was lonely as hell and ready to cling to anyone who could ease those aches. And that's when you showed up. It took a lot of heartache and pain for the both of us before we found our balance... but as my life found it's level again, one constant stayed in place, even when I foolishly rejected it. You. And in spite of how I treated you, somehow you found me again, and when you did, you held on and didn't let me go. I don't think I can ever express to you what that means to me. You took me back, after all I did to you. You forgave me. You still loved me. I'm still earning that honor.
"You've given me more than I could ever list out on a sheet of paper, Paris. What you are to me is way beyond a ledger sheet. Just stay with me. Be there when I wake up, and rest with me at the end of my day. Hold me when I'm sad and laugh with me when I'm not. Share me with your family, and let me take you home to mine. Be with me. That's what you have to give me, and it's worth more than the contents of every bank on earth combined."
Paris: "I'll be with you, whatever happens." A tear finally spills down my cheek, the emotion behind your words so real and true I almost forget to breathe. "There's no other place I want to be than with you." Smiling a little sheepishly, I begin to wipe the tears away but you pull me into your arms, and let me sniffle for a moment on your shoulder. My arms go round your waist to hold you closer, and the log shifts slightly, and there's a louder chinking sound than before. Reaching down into the hollow that Faramir and I used to use to pass messages, my fingers touch heavy, cold glass, and I drag out a bottle of champagne. The really good stuff, and I kiss you soundly. "You certainly know how to propose, or not, to a guy!" But wonder whether we should pop it here and drink it out of the bottle, or take it back to the cabin.
Dave: I don't mind the thank-you kiss, but I can't take the credit for the bubbly. I'm as surprised as you are! "Well, thank you, I guess that was a proposal, wasn't it? Of sorts? Our sort, at least!" I take the bottle from your hands and inspect the label. It's the bottle I bought a few days ago with this event in mind, all right. "I suspect a certain Gondorian stuffed this in the tree. He's been pretty excited about us taking this step, Paris. It's a little like having an in-law living in my brain. Or a mom. Something. He's going to be thrilled you said yes. You did say yes, didn't you?" I laugh, and twist the cork loose enough to explode from the bottle, and we watch it ping off a tree trunk and disappear in the underbrush. Maybe we'll find it again someday, and smile. "He didn't leave glasses, but I'm too happy to care. Here, you first." I hand you the foaming bottle, and lick bubbly off my fingers. "A couple of sips, and then we can finish it off back at the cabin, all right? I'd like to get us into some dressier clothes and take you out for a proper celebratory dinner. I've heard through the grapevine you've got some sexy new leather pants..."
Paris: "Faramir did this? I'll have to thank him next time I see him. Come to think of it, he was behaving a bit like a best man before you shifted back." I take the bottle from you, and swallow a mouthful of champagne, the bubbles fizzing nicely on the way down.
"Yes, I did say yes." I grin as you take a drink yourself. "Although which of us is the non-bride? You do look good in white …" I snicker and dodge away from you as we start back to the cabin, surprised you've heard about my new pants, but wait … "That would be the Gondorian grapevine?" I roll my eyes and laugh. "Yeah, he's definitely one of the family. So we're going out for dinner?" I grab you round the waist and pull you close, kissing you, tasting the wine on your lips. "Do we have to go out straight away?" My hands slip over your back. "Or do we have time to spare to erm … celebrate a little before we go?"
Dave: "Ah. So, you'd like your non-honeymoon before dinner?" To be honest, the combination of happiness, relief, a bit of champagne, and the shine in your eyes has me ready to postpone dinner a little while longer, too. "Let's stay in for a while." We nudge the door open, and deal with the inevitable Ise-pounce. Once she's settled out, I tug you towards the stairs. "I think having appetizers before dinner would be nice, and you definitely look tasty."
I set the champagne bottle on the nightstand, and pull you close. Everything between us is comfortably the same, but somehow changed forever. I can't explain it, couldn't describe it if I tried. I just know I feel it, and it's amazing. "I love you so much. Thank you for understanding what this was all about. I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to find someone who actually knows my mind so well... but I'm grateful. And I want to strip you so naked right now." I know my grin's evolved from happy to wicked, but I don't think you mind, since you're not stopping me from tugging off those old sweatpants you're wearing... oh, this is going to definitely be a day to remember, start to finish.